Tuesday, October 18, 2011

The Berlin Bläserquintett comes to town!!!

Today was one of those days that starts off horrifically, and then escalates to beyond your wildest dreams.
I couldn't go to bed until late due to the nap that I NEEDED to take yesterday. And then I guess was stressed about all the happenings of today and didn't sleep well on top of that.
So it started when I got up at 6:30am.. which is early for me, and biked to a hospital of which I was unfamiliar with the location. I found it after a few wrong turns. AT&T your 3G network could be faster...
At the clinic I had the privilege of undergoing the obligatory tests that women have when they turn 21.. if they haven't already. I can't tell you how much fun that is. Joy incarnate.
Then I showered and crashed for 30 minutes until my favorite class, piano. (ps. my least favorite class actually.....) But this is how the story gets better and better.

I found that my current grade in piano is passing, which really was joy incarnate. I don't know how I have such a good grade, it's magic.
Then straight to my "Islam and Sexuality" course. It's lame, most of the kids just sit there and nod as the prof. talks, no one actually does the reading... and the prof. is catching on. lol
I enjoy that class if only because it encourages discussion, though my eagerness for discussion I think is often off-putting to the prof. as I don't always agree and have strong points to make.
Then I ran to bassoon master class which was being lead by Marion Reinhard the new bassoonist for the Berlin Philharmonic Wind Quintet, or as I remember from my German class "Bläserquintett." Jawoll!!
I got to play for her before the end of class, and though I felt like I didn't do that well I must have fooled everyone else. She never stopped me during the first movement and then asked for the second!! I was actually shocked, dead serious. But it was fun, she kicked my rear by playing stuff I could barely do 10X better when she sight read. It's crazy. CRAZY AMAZING!!! Anywho, it's all due to Leah's banana bread that kept my blood sugar at a normal level. Thank you Leah!! 
Then I ran to music history lab where we listened the mice on steroids and called it music. Thank you Milton Babbitt, you can go where the other goblins of the underworld unite. Maybe there your music (which is more than 12 years old) will find some appreciation and autonomy. Hey, no one's gonna touch it down there, and you can get it out of our universities thank you very much.
I was proud to turn in my jazz composition for that lab with piano accompaniment. Here's the lyrics;

"It's a Monday, Monday Monday moo
My man Mikey, asked me what to do
And I told him, it's just a Monday moo."

No one else may be able to appreciate it, but I laughed. The back story is, I had a lame jazz composition due the next day (Tuesday) and had been asked by my friend Michael to come watch a movie.. which of course I had to decline in order to write this composition.
So that is the backstory to my 12 bar blues lyrics. True blues. :p

Then I had a lesson immediately following lab where Ms. Jensen gave me the thumbs up on my performance in studio and then I had to attempt some "basic skills" that we get tested with for midterms and finals. I had been so caught up with recording for Meg Quigley that I hadn't been working on them. Ps. finally got my application and recordings submitted for that. WOOHOO!!! Oh to be DONE!!!

That evening I went to the performance that the Berlin Phil Quintet did. It was amazing.
I've never seen such liquid awesomeness on stage in front of my very eyes. Frau Reinhard has the craziest big German reeds I've ever seen!! She's got this sound that fills the room, you can almost touch it because of it's amazing presence!! Then something really cool, she let me get a picture with her, which was Laura's idea, and a good idea too! If and when I get that photo it will be directly below. SHABAZAM!!

from left to right: Me, Frau Reinhard, and Laura Miller
This day started with ick and ended with SICK!!!

I love UT Austin. End of story.

Wednesday, September 21, 2011

Junior Recital

So bassoon over here at UT is really kicking off. Placement auditions went ok, the summer camp I taught at this summer, UT Long Horn Band Camp, was a great experience. I feel like I learned so much more from teaching all the middle and high school kids than I could have ever taught them. But that has come and gone all to fast and now I'm currently full swing into the semester with two competitions on my plate and two ominous papers coming up.. I don't mind the competitions as much, but papers are such a waste of valuable time!! lol
So things have generally been crazy, I am not sleeping due to midterms littering my schedule and the insane amount of preparation needed in order to make acceptable recordings for this first competition. I'm glad not to be doing my Junior recital until next semester, that will give me some time to prepare the Tango Sonatine that I really want to do. Yay!
The Trio I'm in is fantastic, we gel really well and though our repertoire choice is "easy" we're really making something out of it and having great time in the process. The large ensemble I'm in is New Music, and I have to admit that new music is not always my fav.. especially when there is contra bassoon involved. Don't get me wrong, I love to hear contra in the hands of a real contra player.. but that would not be me and so I don't love hearing it as much.. hahaha ps. New Music is really harrrrrd
more later, I'm exhausted. Ciao!

This is a really cute/funny reed making "how to" video, I don't agree with all the steps, but it's amusing nonetheless! 

Thursday, May 19, 2011

A whole 'nother year


Since the Capitol Quartet has officially disbanded for the summer, I am reclaiming my blog for my own personal use.

I had just finished watching Paris Je t'aime when I looked out of the window to see the sun beginning to creep through the thick clouds giving a pinkish hue as it began to set. I was overwhelmed with nostalgia as I remember a day very similar in Rochester when I had to leave Eastman never to return. Getting in that taxi cab saying goodbye to Luke and his wonderful mom was probably one of the saddest things I had to do. As I sat in my apartment in Austin thinking of that goodbye it struck me that the weather now was almost identical as it was that day in Rochester, slightly overcast but not cold. It also struck me that this is the one year anniversary since I left Eastman and it summoned memories that almost brought back tears... except no tears happened, which is too bad as that would have made this paragraph more interesting. XD

However, now whenever I start to miss Eastman and all the wonderful people there I try
to remember why I uprooted myself to come to Austin. As I contemplated all the stuff that happened this year, how much I had grown as a person and a bassoonist, I find myself exceedingly grateful for the wonderful opportunities and experiences that have
literally been thrown in my lap since I came here.

I looked to my iPhone (another wonderful thing that happened to me since I came to Austin) and went through the pictures and videos that I would like to share.. it's a small snapshot of everything I saw this year. Granted, all of these things hold a different amount of significance to other people than they do to me, but hopefully these images and videos will communicate some of their precious meaning to the reader in a way similar to my understanding.

This is the pastor from All Saints Presbyterian Church in Austin, he runs a bible study called "Hill House" because it meets in a building over a century old that is a land mark in Austin. Cool guy, reminds me of Sean Connery in the way he speaks. Very interesting bible studies. I def. recommend.

This vid was taken while I stood through the sun roof of Paul's car, I cannot tell you how exhilarating the rush of wind through your hair is at 40mph.



On the left we have a large grasshopper that I got excited about, though I doubt too many people will sympathize with my fascination of a grasshoppers clinging to glass randomly.



Something I think the world should be able to appreciate

is Amanda's sexy s'more picture. This was a little random, we were in a shop, got s'mores and decided to send a taunting picture to our dear friend Matt back in Rochester. The sad thing about Rochester is that there is literally nothing to
do, so it was unkind to send this picture to poor Matt who was probably bored out of his mind, but is sexy no?




This happened on a little excursion downtown with Michael. He had a rain cloud over his head so I did the kindest thing I thought to do and pulled him into slightly sketchier alleyways in Austin where he felt so uncomfortable that he forgot how miserable he was. Notice my attempt to camouflage with the green trash cans.. events later that night included going to East 6th, being harassed by the homeless, frozen yogurt, and a bizarre event where a hippie lady that we didn't know forced us to hold hands in a chain until we had reached our destination...

yay for hippie love?


Contra bassoon reed thread! JK it's actually just some colorful wiring that was being used in construction of the music building.



This takes place in the reed room and is indicative of what happens everyday in that room. The pop music comes on and we get our reed making groove on. Thanks to Leah for being a sport, I think the vid only made her a leetle uncomfortable.

And this post wouldn't be complete without an appearance from the male spectrum
of the Capitol Quartet, Michael (up close, and who didn't write his blog post nudge nudge) and Pearson (on the far end)
Amanda and I met a horse on the drag (the local term for Guadeloupe st.) The drag is in no way what its name implies, as it is one of the most interesting streets one might ever have the opportunity to traverse. There is literally no knowing what you will see next out here. This is just one example of the interesting things you might see. However, he's not a police horse, or a carriage horse. I'm not even sure what he does, though I do know that he was part mule and it was nice meeting him. hahaha











On the UT campus it was hilarious to see how my tuition was being spent. Thank you large yellow signs, I have noticed.


These were some cool looking 'shrooms I saw on a bike ride, they looked more orange in person and made me think of UT. Hook'em!


On the drag, just an ordinary sunny day.




The capitol at night.

Amanda and I got spruced up for a shopping excursion to the mall, it was spantastic!!!



Another reed room movie





Caught Bevo struttin' his stuff by the stadium






And finally some End of School Studio Class candid Vids!! I love my studio!! Featured teacher and performer are Nathan and Nicole. Congratulations to both as Nathan is graduating with his PHD and Nicole just finished her first semester. It was Nathan's task to help Nicole in her interpretation of Bordeau's Premier Solo through his interpretive dancing skills. UT laughs boldly in the face of convention, we don't have time for that in Texas.
PS. We will really miss you Nathan.

Wednesday, March 23, 2011

Capitol Quartet Update #3

My apologies for taking my sweet time in uploading this post, it was due exactly a week ago!
-Katie


After two days of blogless granting the Capital Quartet has decided to resume our blogging and keep the rest of the world informed of our Houston activities.

Tuesday was a low key day for us. We had initially planned to attend a Rice bassoon studio recital, but it was canceled so instead we spent the majority of the day at the University of Houston shaping cane, working on reeds, and rehearsing our quartet music.

In our spare non music time we went to the Houston Museum of Natural Science and gazed in wonder at prehistoric fossils, rare gems, and mollusks. It was awesome. After getting our science fix we walked to a nearby park and enjoyed the sunshine. The nature inspired our bassoon playing, as did the science.

Wednesday was more eventful. We were coached by UT alum TK Dewitt, who is now the second bassoon in the Houston Grand Opera. Working with TK was great and revealed a lot about our quartet. We mostly focused on line and bringing out parts that were more important than others. Essentially we finessed our performance. Thanks TK *thumbs up*

Before our coaching we wandered around a museum-rich neighborhood. Our first stop was the Rothko Chapel, self described as a place of art, spirituality, and human rights. We thought visiting this museum would provide interesting insight to spiritually connecting with our music or whatever it is that “artistes” do. Katie was frightened of the Rothko Chapel though and didn’t stay long. Next we took a stroll through Houston’s photography center. Fun. Finally we took some time browsing through the Menil Private Collection, one of the finest private art collection in the United States.

After gallivanting through museums and bassoon coachings we decided it would be fun to spontaneously go to Kemah Boardwalk… so we did. And we were right, it was fun. We didn’t do anything at the boardwalk other than stroll along the ocean and take in the sights.

Thursday our day began yet again at our favorite spot in Houston, The University of Houston. We worked on our quartet music before jetting over to the Hobbit Café, a middle earth themed lunchtime getaway. While Katie was disappointed that the food was not authentic Hobbit food we still had a great time. Afterward we rushed over to Jones Hall to be coached by the Houston Symphony second bassoon Elise Wagner. Elise focused on our phrasing and exaggerated musicality. A nice aspect coupled with TK’s coaching the previous day.

After a hard two hours of coaching we vegged out and did some very important shopping at the Galleria.

It was a good day.

-Pearson

Monday, March 14, 2011

Capitol Quartet Update #2

We have finally arrived in the magical land of Houston! It was magical and it was rainy. We almost didn’t make it because of the torrential downpour and strikes of lightening that threatened our drive. Luckily, Katie and I had Pearson, the strong, courageous driver and his trusty Ford Taurus, to guide us through the storm.
After navigating the maze of pavement and anxiety we finally came to rest at our super shwanky hotel, the Alden of downtown Houston. We were quickly beckoned away however by our 2 o’clock appointment with Cheryl and Benny Huddleston. Only to be stopped yet again by the raging traffic of Houston.
“And when we say stopped, we mean LITERALLY STOPPED” –Pearson.

Lady Gaga and Rhianna brought us through the cars and debris to Cheryl’s house where we were greeted by her smiling little





5-month-old son, Benny. For 2 hours Cheryl walked us through the steps of Herzberg style reed making.

She provided us each with blanks and taught us how to scrape and test the reed. We all found this new style of reed making very unique and beneficial. The Herzberg style really stresses the importance of response, intonation and a core-centered tone. I am lookingforward to using these new methods in my personal reed making time.

After leaving Cheryl’s house we were lead by the GPS to a botanical garden… only to find it was a playground.
The little kid park turned out to be quite pleasant and we sun-napped, swung and talked about black-widow spiders. Thanks to our resident quartet black-widow
expert, Katie.
Back downtown again we found an overpriced parking garage and wandered around only to find more overpriced food. We settled on a nice little Chinese/Vietnamese restaurant and filled up
on chicken, shrimp, rice and jugs of Hoisin sauce.

We sauntered back to our hotel rooms ready to practice, relax and take advantage of the 24-hour fitness room. And now we are currently planning our day tomorrow!!! Hopefully tomorrow will find Pearson relaxed enough to drive again. I’m not worried though because he is taking a stress bath tonight.

~Leah


Thursday, March 03, 2011

Capitol Quartet Update #1

So this was our second rehearsal with the Capitol Quartet, and it's super exciting to see how we are coming together as an ensemble. Our first rehearsal I think we were kind of clueless as to what to expect or do, but we are starting to blend and work together.
Finding how the leading role in the music shifts from one person to another is also something I think we started to touch on. Though contrary to popular thought, the leading line isn't limited to the first bassoon part.
The whole idea of contributing your line tastefully to make the whole group sound good, and not thinking of yourself constantly as a soloist I think is so cool. I guess you could call it passing the baton from one bassoonist to the next, and not hoarding it for yourself... so like teamwork. It's so cool. I could say it's so cool all night.

Also, the idea of making "music" out of bassoon quartet music isn't as easy as it seems. As a bassoonist, my personal opinion is that the bassoon isn't always that aesthetically pleasing to the ear all the time. However, the key to making it worth your time is making music out of the line you have with the tools you have. Wow. It takes an immense amount of creativity and attention to detail. Plus, bassoon can't play fast interesting lines like the flute, violin, or clarinet... so that means one more limitation.
Yeah, it's not an easy job but it is very rewarding to do it successfully. I think our quartet is capable of creating truly interesting music through our teamwork, that can rival even the prettiest instruments. We have the soul, they have the good looks... it's all in what you're looking for I guess. (those of you who play pretty instruments.. no offense intended)

Tomorrow we have our COFA meeting where we'll brainstorm ideas for our project, it will be exciting! We'll probably follow that with a rehearsal in preparation for a few coachings we'll have with Ms. Jensen next week.

Ok, time to study for tomorrow's music history quiz... *sigh*

laterz

Monday, February 21, 2011

The Capitol Quartet is going to Houston!!!!!

So y'all may have remembered from the last post that I and some other bassoonists, collectively referred to as the "Capitol Quartet" managed to win the grant to go to Houston!!!! W00T!!!!!
This was such a fun group effort, just because there is so much bassoon love within our quartet. Working on writing our application and collecting all the paperwork just to submit the necessary materials to be considered for the grant has already brought us a lot closer together than we were before.. can't wait to see how things are after the trip... lol
But one of the requirements of this travel grant initiative is that we have to blog about our activities and experiences. I volunteered my blog since I had one and it was already (supposedly) about the bassoon. So heads up for those of you who normally read this blog for ulterior reasons, this blog is about to be filled with stories, project details and our learning experiences.

:D

I am SO EXCITED for this!!!!!!!!


So, we filled our paperwork, created our budget, tweaked our resumes, contacted famous bassoonists in Houston and are currently working on hashing out our schedule. The people we intend to study with are famous bassoonists such as Cheryl Huddleston, Elise Wagner, TK DeWitt, and Ben Kamins.
So far the plan is to stay in a decent hotel (which may even have a pool!!), Pearson will be our chauffeur as he owns the car (yay for road trips!!) and we'll try to catch some dress rehearsals/concerts while we're down there. Sadly this travel plan initiative is supposed to happen over spring break, and that appears to be dead time for a lot of the performing centers, like the opera and ballet. However the Symphony is doing a pops concert, and that will be fun. Since we're musicians, we're hoping to catch some rehearsal.. it is invaluable to see the process of art as it is being cooked, it helps to inform our understanding of how to deal with problems and issues that invariably come up for musicians.
I remember when I was studying with Valentin Martchev full time, he made a mistake while sight reading my etude to show me how it was supposed to be played. That mistake opened up a whole new world to me, it made me realize that as amazing and untouchable professional musicians are, they screw up too, they are also imperfect! It gave me hope that one day I would be able to attain that level, since I knew that my playing would never be perfect. But seeing rehearsals is just inspiring like that, it gives you hope that one day you can become like this, because you see the human side of things rather than the shining bravura that musicians put on to impress their audiences.

But anyways, Pearson and I met for lunch last Saturday and tried to work our schedule out. We'll probably meet again at some point soon with Leah and Michael to get more solidified. There's supposed to be a meeting that we'll all attend, but that date hasn't been released yet... that being said we should probably find some bassoon quartet rep... haha
I'm not worried yet about things, as of now we kinda have a head start, but the ball needs to get rolling a little faster.
I found one thing written for sax in C, so that should work, and it is a transcription of something Villa Lobos wrote for his bachianas brazillieras, so it will probably super sexy on bassoon.. just because bassoon is 10X more sexy than saxophone... oh yeah. ;)

AHH!!! This is so exciting, I can't wait for this trip.. but until then I need to start working on the basic skills reqs that Prof. Jensen has us do... it's tough stuff man.

ok laterz.

Friday, February 11, 2011

Little things?

Life is so unpredictable. Earlier today I had made plans to go to the grocery store. I planned to pick up some basic food items, including some oatmeal. On the way to the grocery store I decided that it would be yummy to add apples to the mix and have apple oatmeal. That was plan change number one. It was small and insignificant, but aren't all decisions that way? I then planned to cook the apple oatmeal and store it away for the rest of the week, which was fun.

-I'm in the process of reading the book of Mormon, and related articles. It is an interesting experience.

-I then crashed for a nap around 5 and got up at 6:30pm still feeling exhausted from an unproductive night previous where I was haunted by nightmares and sleepless from 4-5am due to intense cold. There isn't too much heat in my building...
But after napping, I dragged myself out of bed and went to this brief lecture/Q&A about premarital sex and marriage. I learned that the rate by which marriage has been happening is decreasing rather than increasing with population growth. We discussed reasons why that may be, and specifically how difficult it is for christian (chaste) women to get married. There was a lot of panic going on it seemed and proliferous wringing of hands with little to show for it.
My attitude is that if God has decided that you will be married, it will happen and there is no use worrying about it. Not that I'm a fatalist, I just don't get the wringing of hands and wailing. Maybe because I'm cool with the idea of being single.

-Then I got a call from Leah who invited me to hang with a bunch of musicians that evening. So much for homework.
On the way back home we decided to crash the mormon dance party, it was fabtastic. Everyone was wearing pink at this dance, and though I had not planned it, I too was wearing pink. It worked out well and I had fun getting sweaty with the mormons.

I'm in this weird place mentally, it think it's called "transitioning" but I would not be an expert. Things are always in flux.
I find myself dipping my toes into waters of different temperatures, which is progress for someone with such a feline attitude towards water. It does however create a whole new set of problems.
A new concept that I've been dealing with is the idea of "being true to one's self" ..most of the time I know what I want and I find a way to get it. Being unable to get what I want ironically brings uncertainty of what I want and it is tortuous. I make it a point and quite literally every effort to make things work out. If they can't it drives me crazy.
However, backtracking somewhat, I have recently questioned if I know what I really want. I'm trying to be objective and see things from a more "obvious" kind of view. This involves stepping back and coldly analyzing facts. It can be helpful. Not always but usually. Transition points aren't always fun I'm guessing. But up until now, I have been seeing things in a very binary sort of way, until I realized that binary is bogus. Just because you can't see a 3rd or 4th (or more) options, doesn't mean that they don't exist. I'm starting to see more, and it's like a tidal wave.

Ok ok bassoon stuff. I love UT and Ms. Jensen. My studio is incredible, but y'all knew that. The Capitol Quartet, comprised of some studio mates, has applied for a grant to go to Houston and study with some of the best bassoonists evAr over spring break. We'll see how that turns out. I'm learning 5 sacred trees which is a bassoon concerto originally written for Judy LeClair. My teacher Valentin also played it and I have memorized every second of that recording. It is golden. But strangely enough I have never heard Judy's rendition. I need to do that before I perform it. haha My placement audition went a lot better this semester, I placed into the top orchestra on principle for Tchaik's Romeo and Juliet.

Somewhat unrelated (but not really), I would like to point out that part of creativity is realizing that hitting bumps and being wrong on occasion is actually good for you. It can show you what not to do. This is called process of elimination, and usually how I live my life. haha
But it is also how creativity is born, Picasso didn't get every painting "right."
Like every one hit wonder there are several duds that go with it, until they find that one recording. Most of us are too scared to make the mistakes necessary to find the right answers, but there is no respect or honor in being too scared to move. I learned this from dancing, and strangely it applies to most everything. It's funny how little things really are everything. It's the difference between reality and perception... another concept I'm learning from music.

This blog is getting out of control and needs to be raked in. I don't know how I turned a bassoon blog into philosophical steam, but I did. In future there will be more bassoon stuff. For example: click here for bassoon things!

This is Ms. Jensen's website, it's totally free and it's a great learning tool. There are few people I would trust more than Ms. Jensen to guide a young bassoonist to creating healthy expectations and practice habits. So, check it out if you haven't, it's hot stuff with tons of fun activities. Totally awesome in this cyber world we live in.

Peace and love!

Saturday, December 25, 2010

Are You Stylin'?

"All our controversies concerning doctrine relate either to the legitimate worship of God, or to the ground of salvation. As to the former, unquestionably we do exhort men to worship God neither in a frigid nor a careless manner; and while we point out the mode, we neither lose sight of the end, nor omit anything which bears upon the point. We proclaim the glory of God in terms far loftier than it was wont to be proclaimed before, and we earnestly labor to make the perfections in which his glory shines better and better known. His benefits towards ourselves we extol as eloquently as we can, while we call upon others to reverence his majesty, render due homage to his greatness, feel due gratitude for his mercies, and unite in showing forth his praise. In this way there is infused into their hearts that solid confidence which afterwards gives birth to prayer; and in this way, too, each one is trained to genuine self-denial, so that his will being brought into obedience to God, he bids farewell to his own desires. In short, as God requires us to worship Him in a spiritual manner, so we most zealously urge men to all the spiritual sacrifices which he recommends.

Even our enemies cannot deny our assiduity in exhorting men to expect the good which they desire from none but God, to confide in his power, rest in his goodness, depend on his truth, and turn to him with the whole heart; to recline upon him with full hope, and recur to him in necessity: that is, at every moment to ascribe to him every good thing which we enjoy, and show we do so by open expressions of praise. And that none may be deterred by difficulty of access, we proclaim that a complete fountain of blessings is opened up to us in Christ, and that out of it we may draw for every need. Our writings are witnesses, and our sermons witnesses, how frequent and sedulous we are in recommending true repentance, urging men to renounce their own reason and carnal desires, and themselves entirely, that they may be brought into obedience to God alone, and live no longer to themselves, but to him. Nor, at the same time, do we overlook external duties and works of charity, which follow on such renovation. This I say, is the sure and unerring form of worship which we know that he approves, because it is the form which his word prescribes, and these the only sacrifices of the Christian church which have his sanction."


So, I don't know if you can already guess the direction of this blog post from the first 2 paragraphs, but I stole them from Calvin. I've been doing a lot of thinking about our copious types of worship "styles" within christian denominations. It's a fascinating thing. The way calvinists of yore used to worship was on hard wooden planks that they sat on, otherwise known as pews. The service was simple with probably one speaker as opposed to more contemporary services that have 5 or 6 depending on where you go. There were no instruments, the singing was melody only and they stuck to biblical text.. ie. no hymns. As you can imagine, there were also no big tv screens (this may have been a product of the late 16th/17th centuries) and no head bopping tunes, no revivals, no testimonies, no miraculous healings, no one spoke in tongues (unless you think french counts) and there was a surprising lack of religious images in the church.

Calvinists today are nothing like these guys from way back when. They sit on padded chairs and their churches are usually adorned with flowers and crosses, and doves, and triangles and whatever else they can come up with without actually drawing pictures of God and thus very obviously violating the 2nd commandment. They sing hymns and love'em! I talked to one elderly lady in the OPC that I currently attend, she told me how she was raised in the RPC and as such had a much more traditionally "calvinistic" worship service without instruments. She felt much happier being in this OPC because it was "more liberating" to have instruments and to sing hymns, and she may have said something about legalism in reference to her previous more traditional calvinist upbringing. But services have changed, and we have huge TV screens, loud speakers with rocking music, multiple speakers (sometimes it takes me a while to figure out who the minister actually is..) we have tons of instruments, we can sing anything we want because we're free to do that. We aren't bound up by the legalistic restraints of traditional calvinist practice. Now mind you there are some churches that are much less entertaining than others, and they are usually populated with old people, once those peeps die off we'll have rockin praise music in every church, because it is only the unprincipled stodgy old-fashioned preferences of the church's old folks that is holding us back.

The morning service that I attended at a slightly more hip PCA had 4 women and various dudes come up to the pulpit and read passages from scripture, and make announcements. They had a manage of musical instruments, recorder, flute, french horn, guitar, clarinet and I couldn't see what else. This was the most hip Reformed service I had ever attended, we didn't have any big screen tv's- but we had a choir, and almost open communion, we had some sort of menorah like advent candle holder next to the pulpit covered in christmasy evergreen fronds, we didn't sing any passages from scripture- it was entirely comprised of hymns and traditional christmasy tunes like "come oh come Emanuel

Another church I attended had a contemporary service. I enjoyed it, I thought the music was rockin' and the preaching, though simple, compelling and inspirational. They had a praise band combined with choir that was so loud that my skeletal infrastructure shook as I stood and I was forced to cover my ears to retain my sense of hearing. (now you know it was good)

Getting all the way back to the first couple of paragraphs by Calvin, he says "[we are to] worship God neither in a frigid nor a careless manner; and while we point out the mode, we neither lose sight of the end, nor omit anything which bears upon the point..... and in this way, too, each one is trained to genuine self-denial, so that his will being brought into obedience to God, he bids farewell to his own desires. In short, as God requires us to worship Him in a spiritual manner, so we most zealously urge men to all the spiritual sacrifices which he recommends."

I think about the stodgy unprincipled old-fashioned preferences of the church's elderly, and I think about the rockin' services of the church's hip contemporary youth, and I see what Calvin has written as a criticism to each equally.

The elderly have unprincipled preferences, which I accuse of being unprincipled because preferences is all that they are. There is no biblical or theological basis for them, and they can't back it up with any credence. The young people are just doing what feels good too, this is their preference, and they have an equally hard time backing up what they do with theology or scripture. Though, in favor of the young people, I do think they do a much better job of pursuing the idea that "God requires us to worship Him in a spiritual manner" because I always feel much more worked up and giddy after these services than with the old stodgy folks. Whether or not that is actually "spiritual" is up for debate, and scientific study. Both of these styles are perfect examples of "will worship" a dutch term meaning that we disregard any constraining principles of worship and do whatever ever the heck we want.

Where has the idea that we should seek to praise and worship God in a way that He has prescribed gone? It is almost non existent. Today we worry about attracting crowds by doing what people like and conforming to the culture. I propose a mind blowing idea, namely that we attract attention through being totally and utterly biblical, countercultural sometimes, and even possibly agreeing with the culture should it jive with the teachings of the Bible.

_______ _____ ______ _______ __________
Not everything that feels good IS good.

To address the those people, who, from an emotional basis,would protest any sort of change presented. Whenever I suggest changing a tradition or possibly rethinking something we do that we previously never questioned, I usually am confronted by people swayed by sentiment rather than reason. They just don't want to think about it and will cling to their previously undoubted practices like a corpse with rigor mortis.
Recently when discussing the possibility of images of angels being sinful, one lady from my church said "but God made us to be emotional creatures and to enjoy things" so the conclusion of that statement is (without her finishing)

-and these images give me joy, therefore they can't be wrong-

It was a beautiful statement, and one is inclined to just accept it for what it is. If it makes you happy, it can't be bad! So anything that makes you happy, is a good thing. Ok ok, so if I enjoy getting drunk on a routine basis, that's ok because I enjoy it? I enjoy misdirecting tourists to parts of town that are dangerous, possibly life threatening. I like stealing small pieces of candy from convenience stores because candy is yummy but if there was something else that size I'd steal it too, because it's fun. Now none of these things are actually true of me, but you can see it happening and it's kind of horrifying. If something breaks the law, it is wrong, no matter how much fun it is. In fact, I would go as far as to say that breaking the law (and not getting caught) is WAY more fun than keeping it.
When you were a kid, and your parents told you to do something.. or worse yet, NOT to do something, did you always obey them? Or did you take perverse pleasure in undermining their authority in any way possible? This one I'll admit to.

But it's most definitely wrong. All that to make the point that not everything that sounds good, even from sweet innocent old ladies, is true. Now that we've established the complete falseness of that statement (actually i hated geometry) let us backtrack. So something that makes you happy isn't always good or right, but how do you know? Well, see if it violates any laws, that can be helpful. So we back up what we know not by our feelings, but by something concrete like laws.

NOW going all the way back to my statement about trying to serve God best in the way that pleases Him rather than ourselves, has God given us a way to worship Him? Has He given example? How do we know how to worship God in a way that pleases Him? What is this "genuine self-denial" of which Calvin speaks?

I'm not here to answer that question conclusively, how do you think we should conduct our worship of God?

Happy Holidays everyone!

Friday, November 26, 2010

something crazy

so I've had this urge to do something out of control and crazy for a while. Nothing significant has manifested itself, it's mostly come out in smaller interactions with other people.. again nothing life changing but something different.
I like it when things keep changing and moving and progressing. If things hold too still I feel like I'll burst! maybe that's why I had to transfer.. haha

I was sitting in chipotle today with some other musicians and I stopped in the middle of a conversation because my mind was immediately drawn to the background music in the restaurant. and then *blushes* I analyzed it in front of them.
Thanksgiving night I was talking to dearest Torsty-poo and complaining to him about what aural skills has done to us. I said to him, "don't you hate it that you can't hear a song without breaking it down to it's constituent elements?" and he responded, "why? I love knowing what's going on" and I said "well it's like not being able to stop thinking about grammar when you hear someone speak" and he responded "but I LOVE grammar!"
lol and that is the difference between Torsten and I. Though admittedly he has a point.

Finals are soon approaching. I have to complete several stringent requirements for Ms. Jensen in order to get an A in bassoon... wow. And then also in contra. lol and then for reeds... and then I have jury on top of that. oh yeah and finals. goodness gracious.
I really can't wait to go home. It seems like I haven't been there in forever, but then when I skype my family it feels like I never left.

I like Austin. I love the place where I live, it's SO funny!! Firstly it's a dump, secondly, every evening these birds called "grackles" come out of nowhere and everywhere and circle my apt. whilst screeching to each other. Mom thinks that they're trading roosting locations and suggestions. But when they start doing that, they're thick! They make Hitchcock's "The Birds" look like nothing. And the air reeks with the smell of bird. It's inescapable. When you're going down the drag sometimes you get a strong wiff or two of car fumes or cigarets or fast food etc. but in the evening you smell nothing but bird. Or maybe it's the smell of bird crap? who knows. hehehehe lurvely.

but that's the other thing, the sidewalks under these trees are quite literally painted with the vivacious colors of bird sh*t. I've been welcomed to Austin with the kind greeting of one grackle who was kind enough to share his digested lunch with the top of my head as I passed underneath a tree. Then I had to ride a bus home and really hope that no one could see that I was sporting the latest fashion de birdet.

My 21st birthday is coming up, and it's going to be BIG!!! :D I think I'll go to a pub or something like that. What fun it shall be! I can't wait until I'm allowed to drink already. I think this drinking age is stupid. It should be when you turn 18. If you're a legal adult then then you should be a legal adult, none of this half-way goofiness.
Ok I'm going to stop because I feel rant mode coming on... so this probably a good time to stop.

peace.



Wednesday, November 17, 2010

TSA in SAN?

So a friend of mine posted this link on Facebook. After I checked it out, I was so enraged that I think I'll be driving back to CA this year. Thank you TSA.



Some sheep bleat louder because they can see what's coming.

ps. I like mutton (don't try to analyze that.. it don't work)

Sunday, October 24, 2010

Midterms

We're almost done with our midterm exams here, my last few happen this week and I am very much looking forward to being done! UT has been such a good experience for me. I'm digging the weather here man. It's almost always perfect outside. We've had a little bit of rain, but only for 3 days. The fun thing is, it will rain at night, and then be warm and sunny all day. WIN! I'm also much more fit during the school year than I have ever been in my life, save for when I was doing basketball and Tae Kwon Do.
Bassoon is coming along, though I do find it more difficult to find serious practice time here than I did at Eastman. That might simply be because I'm taking 17 credits, which is more credits than I've taken for a while now. Next semester won't be so bad. I won't be taking any non-music classes, so I'll spend all my time in the music building. huzzah? I dunno man. At least I can practice in my Apartment after 2pm till late most days. Why do I have to wait until after 2pm to practice you might ask. WELL... that is directly tied to the nocturnal activities of the other college students the previous night. But whatevs. If I had I life I might be more sympathetic? nahhh

So I usually enjoy the thrill of living life on the fly, ie. running around with no actual formal schedule to organize my day for me. I reject the constraints of ordering my life into a box, it should just flow naturally. I've discovered the hard way that this doesn't work. After missing a few appointments, my teacher had words with me and I now have a nice daily planner that helps me to stay organized. A brilliant friend of mine pointed out that having a schedule doesn't put your life in a box, it illuminates where the perimeters of the box lie so that you can make your escape and not trip over yourself in the process.
So the few of you who are silly enough to suffer from the same anti-scheduling syndrome, let this be a warning and an encouragement. Life doesn't have to be this way, it can get better. Buy a small planner and keep it with you.

Today was Sunday. It was a good day. The Terpstras picked me up for morning worship and I went over to the Engelbrechts for lunch. Many thanks to both families for transporting and feeding me. And thanks to the Van Dams who schedule my Sundays for me.

So, halloween is coming up. I think I'll just do a toga or something. Pearson mentioned that I could go as a sorority girl buuutttt I dunno. He also said something about dressing up as Internet Explorer... that might be amusing. XD
But there will be a big party at Aaron's house, and I ACTUALLY got invited!!! YES!!! I only had to pry a little bit...

So last week was the shopping adventure. Without a car I rely on the bus system. I should have asked around before I attempted this, but instead I relied on google maps to guide me. Bad idea. The key word I used was "grocery store" and all that came up were a bunch of convenience stores, and at the very end of the list, Whole Foods. I checked it out on the website, it looked like a very nice place, there were no prices listed but it appeared to be a grocery store and not a convenience store, so I hopped on a bus and headed over. When I got off the bus to cross the street, a van pulled up next to me at the cross walk (very unexpectedly) and of all the crazy things that could have happened, a very small child was leaning out of a window thrusting a purple flower at me. I confusedly took the flower thinking that it was just some childish game and the best thing to do would be to humor the child and take the flower. The driver of the van, a younger lady in her late 20's, informed me that they were doing "random acts of kindness" so I said thank you and smiled as they whizzed off. It was very strange, and it happened very quickly! A few minutes later after bumbling my way around I found Whole Foods. When I went inside I was amazed at how large the store was, how clean and the fantastic array of exotic foods. Coconut water was one of the first things that I saw for sale, besides the fresh gourmet deli that looked and smelled amazing. But I went off to find more practical things like fresh fruit and pantry items. I soon found that Whole Foods it not geared towards people on a budget. This was very frustrating when you haven't had dinner and just want to buy something and go home to eat it. However, I saw an amazing array of fungus from all over the planet for the cultured, aristocratic taste buds of Austin's rich. I do find it ironic that people who have "made it" in our society end up eating glorified mold. It certainly has variety, but the irony stands. I've never seen so many types of mushrooms in one place. It was an experience. I ended up buying some apples and crackers and similar such items so that the trip wasn't an absolute washout. But on the way home I hit my now favorite cigar shop.

When you walk inside the smell of all those fresh cigars hits you. Probably one of the best smells in the world. I bought a few really small "hazel" cigars, and they are sooo good. I originally asked for cherry vanilla, but they didn't have that. However the richness of the hazel cigar is just fantastic. As long as I don't get hooked it will be ok, but I'm going to bring some home to my peeps in San Diego and expose them to the awesomeness that is the small hazel cigar. It's strange that after coming from a non-smoking family that I can even tolerate the smell, let alone appreciate the smell of cigars. But now the smell of those few cigars has perfumed my room for days now. Every time I come back to my room the cigar smell hits me, and I know it's a good day. ;)

Monday, September 20, 2010

UT Austin Bassoon Day!

So it's the annual UT Austin Bassoon Day! I'm really excited about this event even though I can't go this year because it's on a Sunday :( but I do get to be the PR! Woot!


If you live in Austin, or anywhere near, check it out man! ;)




Monday, September 13, 2010

Austin!

So it's been forever since I checked my own blog, so I can't even remember if I posted anything about transferring, but it has happened. I am here at University of Texas at Austin living in my awesome apartment. Everything here is pretty sweet, my teacher, the school, the weather, the food, my studio mates, the single dwelling apt. which is all mine.. mine.. mine...... haha but seriously I am excited not to have to share a room with anyone. I have two different Bible studies I can attend, one called hill house which is run by the PCA minister at All Saints, and the RUF bbl stdy that I haven't actually attended thus far that meets on campus... I should get around to that...
but here we also have free access to a gym, which I find totally exciting! I get to go running in a state of the art facility with air conditioning! I would run outside if it were less humid, but there's something addicting about being able to look down and see exactly how many calories you've burned, how long you've been going, incline, heart rate etc. I like machines!XD ok this is a false statement half the time but whatevs.
I also have a fantabulous church community who has opened their arms to me every Sunday. I can't even remember everyone's name, but they all know me! Everyone greets me and inquires as to my well being with a warm heartfelt smile. The Van Dams have been incredibly kind in driving me to and from church almost every Sunday, except when they are out of town- and in that case thank you Hannah Benoit and Mr. and Mrs. Hughes! Every afternoon someone from the church takes me into their house and feeds me lunch, and the way people just line up to ask me into their homes is just so amazing. I really feel I have found a fantastic church community that will take care of me in my state of relative dependance as a student without personal means of transportation.
So my bassoon studio is the bomb. In every studio you have the really good people, the people in the middle, and the people at the bottom of the totem pole.. but in this studio everyone I have heard so far is a kick butt bassoonist. Kristin Jensen is the bomb and even though I'm having to relearn tons of old habits, I have complete confidence this will make me a better player in the long run. Ms. Jensen, is such a good teacher!!! I have learned more from her about how to play the bassoon than ever before! It's changing my sound, her big thing is aiming for "Zing!" and using proper posture/support. She is really attuned to how it's important to pay attention to what you are doing physically, since it will ALL affect your playing. All of her students get really amazing bassoon sounds out of their instruments and I am so excited to be a part of this studio, aaaand I'm so glad she likes transfer students! haha
So classes have been going well, I like my written theory prof. waaay much, never thought I would say that but she's super cool! I can't stand theory profs. who are anal and insecure, she's such a refreshing change! (with a smaaaall exception of other theory profs. I've met) However aural skills isn't going so hot. I didn't think I would need to register for it, but things changed and now I'm taking this class for the 3rd time... it is not exciting and the story behind that is gross and involved. no more shall be said.
So, on a completely different note, I have died my hair a dark blonde. I like it, it goes well with my tan. XD
I'm painting my bathroom, and have moved my furniture multiple times for the optimal space efficient setup.

<-- LOOK HIPPIE PAINT JOB!!!! :D dude that's Rockin'!

-I am studying jazz bassoon again, back to square one. Evidently I was missing some crucial fundamentals which I am learning now.
-It looks like the piano dept. will graciously let me test out of 3 semesters, leaving only 1 more before I'm completely done with piano forever.
-My trio is awesome, we are comprised of flute, harp and of course bassoon, and we're playing Jolivet's Patorales de Noel. It's purty.
=And the fun stuff, I had a TeRRible placement audition and was placed in the lowest group for music majors, but they had a concert on Sunday, so I have placed into the non-music major band. It's cool, the peeps there are talented and it's a good experience. You learn different things in every group, and though I am not taxed nearly the same way I was when playing next to Steve Dibner, it's good experience.
speaking of which, there is a super cool picture on Facebook that I just HAVE to post here because it is Hilarious!! haha

AIR-BASSOON!!!!!!!




==
{}~ <-- look, it's a bassoon emoticon!!! hahaha!!
|||
[]/

ok, it's sleepy time, I have an early morning bible study, if I can raise myself out of bed :p

Friday, July 30, 2010

So I'm as close as I can get to our massive internet server here at Marolt, I think I can feel the radio-activity boiling my brains slowly, or it might simply be the heat of the laundry dryers, behind which I am hiding so that I have priority in the war for internet access. lol
The highlight of my stay so far was having my parents come out and visit me, it was great to see them. It made me seriously want to go home and brought some pretty intense home-sickness. But I'm doing better now. If I can just avoid thinking of home I'll be fine.


<-- dad and me dueling for the best picture, with mom laughing


So religiously it's been a battle here, in more ways than one. The church I'm attending believes in modern day miraculous works of the Holy Spirit. I got a book from the pastor here called "praying heaving down to earth, a practical guide to everyday miracles" or some shtuff like that... I was skeptical until I saw this miraculous service in which people were healed! it was crazy. I came this close to becoming charismatic. But thanks to the impressive learning and even more impressive skepticism of my father, I am not suffering from that tendency any longer. Evidently context and a thorough investigation of the bible are necessary before making possibly heretical claims. I say this all with a certain amount of very dry sarcasm, maybe it's because I am still upset about wasting 75 cents on the dryers here due to an incredible amount of incompetence. I've done dumb stuff before, but this takes the cake.
I have so much stuff going on, studying with Nancy is great :) Per taught a master class yesterday in which I played duets with my bassoon friend Pei wen. She's really nice and is something of a composition wiz! It went well and afterwards we ate dinner at John's house. I found two books in his place that were of particular interest to me one was about how we are the center of life (each person individually, a concept I find absolutely dizzying) and another one on how religion poisons everything. (?) what can I say? I am willing to bet that this book is selling some sort of theory on how that now we are enlightened we don't need religion and it's antiquated bassackwards ways. I would also go as far as to accuse people who advocate how modernly enlightened we are as a religion unto itself, which, like the previous book, put US at the center of the universe. Talk about a religion of selfishness, if you believe in selfishness anymore.
But back to bassoon stuff (lol) I get to play with Steven Dibner this next week, I'm so scared and excited! It will be awesome. Evidently his theory and practice on reeds is very minimalist... hahaha but that's just some good ol' bassoon gossip. My awesome sextet which just played the poulenc is regrouping to form a quintet with piano, it's really cool :) and I'll be playing in another group doing poulenc again but this time as a trio. I heard our doctorate bassoon Darrel play it today for my first time. It was an interesting piece. Some parts were so beautiful, the only word I can think to describe it is ethereal. Next Monday I'll be going on my first serious hike since I got here with our bible study. It will be fun. My laundry is still wet, and it needs to be hung out to dry :p

peace

Friday, July 02, 2010

So it's been an obscenely long time since I posted anything whatsoever, but I have a legit excuse! I'm in Aspen, CO for the summer music festival and internet here is sketchy. So is phone service. I denounce you AT&T. Verizon be yo daddy. Plus I have to get a new phone due to this one being on the ritz. Touch screen View by LG, just say NO! Heck NO!!! Pictures are good though, and to that end I have some video to share that could be found on facebook, but I've never posted video here before so here's to something new!

Speaking of new, the ants here are GIN0RMOUS!! Some of these suckers have to be a good 3/4 inch long! Other slightly more interesting sightings were of the bear (cub?) I saw behind the music building and the snake I found and pursued.

Aspen has been really fun. I had my first rehearsal this morning with the concert orchestra and yesterday I rehearsed with the bassoon band! It was fun, there will be a performance this Saturday evening. I also had my first lesson with Nancy Goeres this Wednesday and it was great. We talked about stuff, and I played piard etude #4 in e minor with relative success. She gave me some tips to get low notes out more easily (esp. in this altitude) Reeds, though I hadn't figured them out for my audition yet, are working really well. A quick shout out to Stuart Garlock who very awesomely sharpened my reed knife, thus enabling reed awesomeness.

I just left the concert happening at the music tent, Nancy was Amazing!!! but I did get caught in the rain. :p Aspen and it's weather, ok more later!

Sunday, May 16, 2010

Graduation!!!

I just left Rochester, I stayed just long enough to say one last goodbye to the Judds (thank you Mrs. Judd for the card!) who by the way are probably some of the best people on this planet. They took me in and became a second family to me, they nurtured me mentally, spiritually, physically and emotionally- as well as provided a little Godly perspective (the most expensive commodity on the modern market.) I also got to see Luke, Andre, Jeremy, David Wygert., David Fisk, Tim, Ellie, Ashlee, Alex, Bopp, and Brett graduate. It was a good class. Sitting through that graduation ceremony watching all my friends graduate made me feel like I graduated with them- it's fun to think of all the places we're going to. Luke is going to PA, Andre to France, Jeremy to WA, David W. to TX, David F. to CO (and then where I'm not sure...) Tim and Ellie I have no clue, Ashlee and Alex are going to FL, Bopp to CA, Brett to Yale (which is a location...)
I am going to miss people so much, I finally decided about transferring and I am going to Texas.
I was just thinking to myself on the flight to JFK, "wow, I must have really enjoyed sophomore and freshman year- so much so that I was desperate to redo them! ugh. Maybe I'll get it right this time"
But I ran into an eastman mom on the flight to JFK and she told me about how her daughter had to transfer from a great music school to study with someone else in Eastman- which makes me feel less bad about leaving Eastman- if it can work for this girl it can work for me. Everyone keeps telling me how beautiful and bursting with creative energy Austin is, I'm so glad to be heading to this environment. haha I've never been to Austin- it may seem crazy that I want to go to a place I've never seen before but I think it will be ok. I have reasonable guarantee that it will be worth it. ;) I'm excited about the idea that I can pursue my insane idea of learning jazz bassoon. haha I have almost no talent for it- but it's getting better considering how little time I put into it. It's also helping me to improve as a bassoonist.
I'm sad that I only get 1 month with my family, in the midst of which is Orientation, which means a quick trip to Austin, then back home, then Aspen and then it's straight to TX. Whew. I don't cope well with new things, or change...

Ugh, I need to learn this etude for my lesson on friday and the etude is hard... it wouldn’t be so bad, but I haven’t played in 2 and half weeks, so I’ve got some practicing to do. I probably won’t even get through the whole etude at the lesson. As for lessons, I get to teach my little bassoonists starting tomorrow! I’m excited. I love my students and I love teaching them. It’s so great to see their eyes light up when you tell them something they’ve never heard before.
The plan for this summer is to get fit already. I try to do this every year... but I think I may be able to actually make some headway this time. And since I’m going to Texas I won’t have to worry about being holed up for 4 months at a time due to miserable weather conditions. And it sounds like the food will be better too. :D

Sunday, April 25, 2010

I just realized that I haven't been posting my previous posts, one of them only consisted of a couple sentences, but the last one was several paragraphs long! so I posted old info.
Finals are coming up, it will be the end of my Sophomore year (and possibly last) year at Eastman. I'll know for sure on the 1st of May. It's going to be crazy between now and then. UT reaccepted med *yay!* and there was much rejoicing. Now we're just finagling credit issues. I've been going to a music school for the past year so I actually have almost as many academic requirement from this school as musical... lol I just lurrrrve academics...
but whatevs, maybe if UT is particularly understanding I'll be able to fulfill some of those online over the summer.

It's raining outside after a gorgeous week and church was weird today because pastor was out of town- so we're acting like weird charismatic church. haha I only say that because the elder opened the service.. for an HALF HOUR haha and then we had some emotive dude from an abortion clinic (who may or may not have actually opened his Bible) lecture us on how we need to realize how terrible abortion is. It was a good lecture, and I agreed with him on most everything. However it didn't have the Law/Gospel approach I have come to expect in sermons. I've been spoiled. And there wasn't too much structure, just a lot of good ideas strung together. At LEAST we didn't have a praise band, but my understanding is that will change Next week since some of my Eastman friends (blushes) are actually going to help us institute some good ol' Mosaic practice in our New Testament service. Thanks guys, Uzza thanks you.
I'm going to have to leave for the RPC pretty soon. lol

I actually like the rain, it makes me feel like the world is taking a shower- and I am all in favor of cleanliness. no joke.
It's also very calm spring rain, slightly warm and friendly. but this is just subjective artistic rot. Reality says I just got a hair cut and the humidity is doing it's best to ensure that I have a fro. Admittedly I'm still very very white, but my hair is confuzzled.

btw I've a new word for pop-culture. It's called "Fizzual" like the words; visual, physical, and fizzy all mashed together. It could totally make it. Never mind that it was something that I came up with in a TA meeting for aural skills... hehehe
tiz ultimate nerdiness me thinks...

This past week was jury week, and I didn't actually have a jury. It's a good mix. XD

By the way, I just want to thank all of the people who have been praying for me in this transferring thing, I've tried to be really cool about it, but it's been driving me crazy. Your prayers are very very much appreciated.
Today was also fun because we made fried tortillas, taco meat, mac'n'cheese and we chopped some onion. We played catch with a small stress ball and also "see who can hit Luke while he vacuums as many time with the ball in the most witty combinations possible." Luke's a good sport. haha

Well, I was supposed to be reading reformed books, but then I got distracted. I don't like reading anyways. I like hearing, arguing, intellectualizing, but analyzing written material is not ma fav... which is bad for the academic world. Good thing I'm a music major. lol

ok peace, I can't write anymore and there's no way you could read another word of this. XD

Tuesday, April 13, 2010

cUrTis?

Good news and bad news. I was accepted at UT Austin and offered significant scholarships, bad news is that they rescinded their offer shortly afterwards. Why? It's confusing but it all started with the application that I submitted. Evidently there was a typo. I must have put down that I had been attending Eastman since Spring of 2010 instead of Fall '08. I have literally NO idea how I could have done that and would like to blame the way the online application saves it's data.. or not.
Anyways they operate under the assumption that my application is correct and never request my Eastman transcript, which I remember thinking odd at the time but dismissed since it seemed logical that they would wait until after my credits here are complete, aka when this semester's grades have been added to my transcript. And that's why I didn't submit my Eastman application by the deadline March 1. *whew*
So they accept me and there was much rejoicing. Then I start thinking about how many years I will actually end up spending there, and in order to calculate that number I send them my Eastman transcript so that my existing credits can be added to my degree audit page. Well the next morning I get an email from admissions saying;

"Good Morning Kathryn,

blah blah blah your transcript that we never asked you for is being considered late and we don't want you anymore. If you don't like this, write us a letter and we'll think about it.

All the most sincerest and very best,

Your friendly admissions people"


The part that stuck with me is the "Good morning Kathryn," I love it when people say good morning. It's so cheerful. I hate mornings, I hate how I feel in the morning. Most of the time I just want to crawl back into bed. That aside, I always enjoy a cheerful "good morning" it makes life seem less bleak at that hour.

So I appealed their decision, I'll call them in a few days and we'll see what happened.


On top of that, I wasn't chosen from the finalists at Curtis, but at least it was a great experience. Philadelphia was awesome, the people were awesome to me, and I learned a lot about playing under pressure. One big thing is alway ignore the judges. They may be smiling, laughing, passing notes, staring off into space, staring straight at you, writing little notes when you make mistakes, just don't think about it. Because as soon as you mess up, it's all over and they call the next candidate.

Today was fun, and way busy. I have run out of money on my college food plan and am therefore forced to buy food from restaurants and stores. So I got real breakfast this morning. It was good. I have discovered that I really like breakfast, I might get up early just to eat some tomorrow. It's not a luxury that I usually have time for, I usually stick to the nutrigrain bar and some apple juice to tide me over until I can get brunch which doubles as lunch. Today my chamber group, a sextet known at Eastman as "the Sexytet" went to Fischer college and gave an oral and musical presentation. Each member of the group said a little something about the composer, the use of instruments and then we played. It was a good performance. That was the second presentation I had to do that week, the first was for German film class, which is awesome. I love prof. Steingrover. She is so inspiring! She makes me want to be a better student- and to take german, I'm just so scared of all the time it would take!

Despite all the dull drab and awful, summer plans have been set. I will be attending Aspen summer music festival in CO, and it should be fun. If nothing else, I will get to study in Nancy Goeres studio for 8 weeks. Valentin has told me so many good things about her, I almost applied to Carnegie Mellon (where she works) but that didn't end up happening.

Sunday, March 07, 2010

Finals

So I took my last Curtis audition and it went well, I ended up playing some repertoire that was NOT on my list.. lol it went alright I guess. The committee got me confused with another Kathryn and I ended up playing Scheherazade. I was only listed for Bolero and Figaro- so I hope they realized that it was unprepared at some point. XD

Absolute craziness.

It feels sooo good to be done. I was really really stressed but now I feel like a new person. I won’t find out the outcome until April, I wish I could know now! So much drama! ehhhh!!
I’m on the train right now. It’s supposed to go for 7 and an half hours! Bleah!! Whatever. I’m seated next to a nice lady, I’ve learned my lesson and I make it a rule not to sit next to men. This automatically rules out the perv factor that I so often have to deal with when I travel. As Daniel says “Katie you don’t have common sense, you have uncommon sense” which is true, but I’m learning to have common sense.

Everyone has been so helpful and supportive throughout this entire audition process, I just want to say thank you to my parents, my sister, Valentin, Luke, Andre, Seth, Alex Z., Jeff, Daniel, Conrad, Amanda, The Harts, and Lisa Ryken. You guys have been so helpful and supportive, I really appreciate it. I couldn’t have survived without you.

So sadly enough, I did not get to try the famous Philly Cheesesteak. But I did get to try the s’mores from Cosis. It was too much sugar for one person, but it was gooood and super fun to toast the marshmallows over the fire gel stuff.
Probably the best part of this whole experience, besides all the audition stuff, was living on my own, pets included, for a few days in a busy city. It was quite fun. I didn’t enjoy the constant solace, but it was still fun. :)
Also, I avoided all pervs on this trip and managed to survive quite well on my own without loosing life or limb. There was the incident with the doorman, but it could have been worse.
Only 3 more hours till we’re done. I wish it didn’t have to be such a long ride. But it had to be the train because I am poor and cannot take plane rides to places as close at PA. lol
I couldn’t wait to get out of Rochester, but now I will be grateful to get back and have food and my own bed to sleep in. I do the 4 inches of memory foam topping for my bed, and I strongly recommend it for anyone who has trouble sleeping. It’s the most comfortable thing ever, and the hardest part is getting up in the morning.

So I heard the most interesting sermon this morning. Usually in protestant circles we’re quiet, mild, understated people. We avoid controversial subjects and refer to the weather when in doubt of what to say. We never talk about things like sex in public settings. It’s just too awkward. The sermon today was about sexuality and I was gratified to hear strong AMENs from the congregation as the minister spoke. The people were listening and engaged, not trying to awkwardly tune out the minister. Have studied at Eastman I have encountered a variety of sexual sins that people struggle with (or not). It’s a plague and I think that part of the reason for this is that it can be an awkward topic to address, people don’t talk about it and the problem just gets worse. The minister pointed out how we as a culture have been driven crazy by sexuality. We no longer see it at the expression of committed love between a man and his wife, we see it as something that we can take into our own hands as some sort of play toy. It’s not serious, it’s just something pleasurable. Then why is there so much negativity, angst, depression, and pain when sex is abused? It doesn’t make sense and people don’t want it to make sense because when you think about it, right and wrong becomes clear. It’s not about what you want sometimes, it’s about doing what is wisest, about protecting yourself emotionally and physically. People are extremely vulnerable and don’t always realize it. The only way to protect yourself is to run the other direction. If you walk to the edge of a cliff and stare over the edge, what is the likely outcome?? Ok so you might not fall over, but what is the sense in putting yourself in that situation?It’s seriously not worth it. Yeah, sex used wrongly is NOT worth it. That’s coming from a 20 year old.
I would even go so far as to say that sex outside of loving committed marriage is not worth it. It certainly shouldn’t be about how attractive or “sexy” someone is. We’ve gotten so obsessed over this idea of “sexy” that we have people inserting plastic into their bodies and literally going nuts over this stuff. Girls become anorexic because they are obsessed with a certain ideal which is supposed to be “sexy.”
What is “sexy” really? It’s objectifying people. It’s seeing people as function of sex and not seeing sex as function of people. We are sexual, meaning capable of sex, but that is not who we are and does not define us at all.
Why am I talking about such a topic on a public blog? Because I’m tired of sex being hush hush. More people should address this topic. People are hurting and sometimes you need to say something.
The thing that helped me most is when pastor pointed out that we are not our own, sex is not something we get to decide to explore on our own terms. That is not what we were created to do and that’s why it hurts when we deviate from used rightly. The question to ask ourselves, even when our minds are consumed with sexual thoughts is “is this glorifying to God?” if you can’t say yes, then remove the temptation before you if there is temptation, or think about something else. If you have trouble, try praying. :)

ok now I’m done. That was tough and embarrassing, but that’s because I’m a female WASP. lol

So dinosaurs... just kidding. I need to stop, I’ll get tendonitis if I keep this up.

laterz.

btw
every time I travel, I get an opportunity to talk to other passengers, and it’s usually enlightening. I learn so much, just by bouncing ideas and pondering them. If I’m lucky I’ll get to sit next to someone who is older and more experienced than I. This means that I learn even more and can get some perspective (the most expensive commodity on the modern market) and I grow from it. This makes taking the train totally worth while.