I just realized that I haven't been posting my previous posts, one of them only consisted of a couple sentences, but the last one was several paragraphs long! so I posted old info.
Finals are coming up, it will be the end of my Sophomore year (and possibly last) year at Eastman. I'll know for sure on the 1st of May. It's going to be crazy between now and then. UT reaccepted med *yay!* and there was much rejoicing. Now we're just finagling credit issues. I've been going to a music school for the past year so I actually have almost as many academic requirement from this school as musical... lol I just lurrrrve academics...
but whatevs, maybe if UT is particularly understanding I'll be able to fulfill some of those online over the summer.

It's raining outside after a gorgeous week and church was weird today because pastor was out of town- so we're acting like weird charismatic church. haha I only say that because the elder opened the service.. for an HALF HOUR haha and then we had some emotive dude from an abortion clinic (who may or may not have actually opened his Bible) lecture us on how we need to realize how terrible abortion is. It was a good lecture, and I agreed with him on most everything. However it didn't have the Law/Gospel approach I have come to expect in sermons. I've been spoiled. And there wasn't too much structure, just a lot of good ideas strung together. At LEAST we didn't have a praise band, but my understanding is that will change Next week since some of my Eastman friends (blushes) are actually going to help us institute some good ol' Mosaic practice in our New Testament service. Thanks guys, Uzza thanks you.
I'm going to have to leave for the RPC pretty soon. lol

I actually like the rain, it makes me feel like the world is taking a shower- and I am all in favor of cleanliness. no joke.
It's also very calm spring rain, slightly warm and friendly. but this is just subjective artistic rot. Reality says I just got a hair cut and the humidity is doing it's best to ensure that I have a fro. Admittedly I'm still very very white, but my hair is confuzzled.

btw I've a new word for pop-culture. It's called "Fizzual" like the words; visual, physical, and fizzy all mashed together. It could totally make it. Never mind that it was something that I came up with in a TA meeting for aural skills... hehehe
tiz ultimate nerdiness me thinks...

This past week was jury week, and I didn't actually have a jury. It's a good mix. XD

By the way, I just want to thank all of the people who have been praying for me in this transferring thing, I've tried to be really cool about it, but it's been driving me crazy. Your prayers are very very much appreciated.
Today was also fun because we made fried tortillas, taco meat, mac'n'cheese and we chopped some onion. We played catch with a small stress ball and also "see who can hit Luke while he vacuums as many time with the ball in the most witty combinations possible." Luke's a good sport. haha

Well, I was supposed to be reading reformed books, but then I got distracted. I don't like reading anyways. I like hearing, arguing, intellectualizing, but analyzing written material is not ma fav... which is bad for the academic world. Good thing I'm a music major. lol

ok peace, I can't write anymore and there's no way you could read another word of this. XD

cUrTis?

Good news and bad news. I was accepted at UT Austin and offered significant scholarships, bad news is that they rescinded their offer shortly afterwards. Why? It's confusing but it all started with the application that I submitted. Evidently there was a typo. I must have put down that I had been attending Eastman since Spring of 2010 instead of Fall '08. I have literally NO idea how I could have done that and would like to blame the way the online application saves it's data.. or not.
Anyways they operate under the assumption that my application is correct and never request my Eastman transcript, which I remember thinking odd at the time but dismissed since it seemed logical that they would wait until after my credits here are complete, aka when this semester's grades have been added to my transcript. And that's why I didn't submit my Eastman application by the deadline March 1. *whew*
So they accept me and there was much rejoicing. Then I start thinking about how many years I will actually end up spending there, and in order to calculate that number I send them my Eastman transcript so that my existing credits can be added to my degree audit page. Well the next morning I get an email from admissions saying;

"Good Morning Kathryn,

blah blah blah your transcript that we never asked you for is being considered late and we don't want you anymore. If you don't like this, write us a letter and we'll think about it.

All the most sincerest and very best,

Your friendly admissions people"


The part that stuck with me is the "Good morning Kathryn," I love it when people say good morning. It's so cheerful. I hate mornings, I hate how I feel in the morning. Most of the time I just want to crawl back into bed. That aside, I always enjoy a cheerful "good morning" it makes life seem less bleak at that hour.

So I appealed their decision, I'll call them in a few days and we'll see what happened.


On top of that, I wasn't chosen from the finalists at Curtis, but at least it was a great experience. Philadelphia was awesome, the people were awesome to me, and I learned a lot about playing under pressure. One big thing is alway ignore the judges. They may be smiling, laughing, passing notes, staring off into space, staring straight at you, writing little notes when you make mistakes, just don't think about it. Because as soon as you mess up, it's all over and they call the next candidate.

Today was fun, and way busy. I have run out of money on my college food plan and am therefore forced to buy food from restaurants and stores. So I got real breakfast this morning. It was good. I have discovered that I really like breakfast, I might get up early just to eat some tomorrow. It's not a luxury that I usually have time for, I usually stick to the nutrigrain bar and some apple juice to tide me over until I can get brunch which doubles as lunch. Today my chamber group, a sextet known at Eastman as "the Sexytet" went to Fischer college and gave an oral and musical presentation. Each member of the group said a little something about the composer, the use of instruments and then we played. It was a good performance. That was the second presentation I had to do that week, the first was for German film class, which is awesome. I love prof. Steingrover. She is so inspiring! She makes me want to be a better student- and to take german, I'm just so scared of all the time it would take!

Despite all the dull drab and awful, summer plans have been set. I will be attending Aspen summer music festival in CO, and it should be fun. If nothing else, I will get to study in Nancy Goeres studio for 8 weeks. Valentin has told me so many good things about her, I almost applied to Carnegie Mellon (where she works) but that didn't end up happening.

Finals

So I took my last Curtis audition and it went well, I ended up playing some repertoire that was NOT on my list.. lol it went alright I guess. The committee got me confused with another Kathryn and I ended up playing Scheherazade. I was only listed for Bolero and Figaro- so I hope they realized that it was unprepared at some point. XD

Absolute craziness.

It feels sooo good to be done. I was really really stressed but now I feel like a new person. I won’t find out the outcome until April, I wish I could know now! So much drama! ehhhh!!
I’m on the train right now. It’s supposed to go for 7 and an half hours! Bleah!! Whatever. I’m seated next to a nice lady, I’ve learned my lesson and I make it a rule not to sit next to men. This automatically rules out the perv factor that I so often have to deal with when I travel. As Daniel says “Katie you don’t have common sense, you have uncommon sense” which is true, but I’m learning to have common sense.

Everyone has been so helpful and supportive throughout this entire audition process, I just want to say thank you to my parents, my sister, Valentin, Luke, Andre, Seth, Alex Z., Jeff, Daniel, Conrad, Amanda, The Harts, and Lisa Ryken. You guys have been so helpful and supportive, I really appreciate it. I couldn’t have survived without you.

So sadly enough, I did not get to try the famous Philly Cheesesteak. But I did get to try the s’mores from Cosis. It was too much sugar for one person, but it was gooood and super fun to toast the marshmallows over the fire gel stuff.
Probably the best part of this whole experience, besides all the audition stuff, was living on my own, pets included, for a few days in a busy city. It was quite fun. I didn’t enjoy the constant solace, but it was still fun. :)
Also, I avoided all pervs on this trip and managed to survive quite well on my own without loosing life or limb. There was the incident with the doorman, but it could have been worse.
Only 3 more hours till we’re done. I wish it didn’t have to be such a long ride. But it had to be the train because I am poor and cannot take plane rides to places as close at PA. lol
I couldn’t wait to get out of Rochester, but now I will be grateful to get back and have food and my own bed to sleep in. I do the 4 inches of memory foam topping for my bed, and I strongly recommend it for anyone who has trouble sleeping. It’s the most comfortable thing ever, and the hardest part is getting up in the morning.

So I heard the most interesting sermon this morning. Usually in protestant circles we’re quiet, mild, understated people. We avoid controversial subjects and refer to the weather when in doubt of what to say. We never talk about things like sex in public settings. It’s just too awkward. The sermon today was about sexuality and I was gratified to hear strong AMENs from the congregation as the minister spoke. The people were listening and engaged, not trying to awkwardly tune out the minister. Have studied at Eastman I have encountered a variety of sexual sins that people struggle with (or not). It’s a plague and I think that part of the reason for this is that it can be an awkward topic to address, people don’t talk about it and the problem just gets worse. The minister pointed out how we as a culture have been driven crazy by sexuality. We no longer see it at the expression of committed love between a man and his wife, we see it as something that we can take into our own hands as some sort of play toy. It’s not serious, it’s just something pleasurable. Then why is there so much negativity, angst, depression, and pain when sex is abused? It doesn’t make sense and people don’t want it to make sense because when you think about it, right and wrong becomes clear. It’s not about what you want sometimes, it’s about doing what is wisest, about protecting yourself emotionally and physically. People are extremely vulnerable and don’t always realize it. The only way to protect yourself is to run the other direction. If you walk to the edge of a cliff and stare over the edge, what is the likely outcome?? Ok so you might not fall over, but what is the sense in putting yourself in that situation?It’s seriously not worth it. Yeah, sex used wrongly is NOT worth it. That’s coming from a 20 year old.
I would even go so far as to say that sex outside of loving committed marriage is not worth it. It certainly shouldn’t be about how attractive or “sexy” someone is. We’ve gotten so obsessed over this idea of “sexy” that we have people inserting plastic into their bodies and literally going nuts over this stuff. Girls become anorexic because they are obsessed with a certain ideal which is supposed to be “sexy.”
What is “sexy” really? It’s objectifying people. It’s seeing people as function of sex and not seeing sex as function of people. We are sexual, meaning capable of sex, but that is not who we are and does not define us at all.
Why am I talking about such a topic on a public blog? Because I’m tired of sex being hush hush. More people should address this topic. People are hurting and sometimes you need to say something.
The thing that helped me most is when pastor pointed out that we are not our own, sex is not something we get to decide to explore on our own terms. That is not what we were created to do and that’s why it hurts when we deviate from used rightly. The question to ask ourselves, even when our minds are consumed with sexual thoughts is “is this glorifying to God?” if you can’t say yes, then remove the temptation before you if there is temptation, or think about something else. If you have trouble, try praying. :)

ok now I’m done. That was tough and embarrassing, but that’s because I’m a female WASP. lol

So dinosaurs... just kidding. I need to stop, I’ll get tendonitis if I keep this up.

laterz.

btw
every time I travel, I get an opportunity to talk to other passengers, and it’s usually enlightening. I learn so much, just by bouncing ideas and pondering them. If I’m lucky I’ll get to sit next to someone who is older and more experienced than I. This means that I learn even more and can get some perspective (the most expensive commodity on the modern market) and I grow from it. This makes taking the train totally worth while.

Craziness

So I haven't said anything on my blog thus far of the actual important bassoon things that have happened in my life, but everybody knows so there's no point in hiding it.
I've been trying to transfer from Eastman for a while now, and the two places I'm seriously looking into are UT Austin and Curtis Institute. It's been quite a journey I've been thinking about this transfer halfway through my freshman year and decided I would give it a shot during summer break. I considered a lot of schools, Rice, Colburn, Oberlin, and I'm probably forgetting some here, but it ended up boiling down to UT Austin and Curtis.
I got admitted to the Butler School at UT but I'm still waiting to hear from the University. With Curtis, I just took my preliminary audition and passed, so we'll see what happens with that tomorrow.
With summer festivals I actually got waitlisted somewhere! ahh! Aspen finally wait-listed me. Music Academy was a no. (again) and this year I deviated from the normal pattern and applied to RoundTop. I haven't heard from them yet.

It's been quite a year, with lots of developement. Kristen Jensen taught me how to breathe, which is harder than it sounds. XD This has led to a new understanding of where and how vibrato works. I'm still working on that though, since I only learned about it a few weeks ago. It's already made a huge difference in my sound. I feel like a different person! It's also shown me flaws in my reed making- so now my reeds are generally better. That and some hertzburg exercised I got from Lynn Hileman and Mr. Beene.
Everything is still a learning experience. I don't cope well with "new" but I'll find a way to survive.

Feel free to pray for me, it is much needed and appreciated.
So I've discovered that doormen are really really rude. If they ask to help you, don't believe them. They don't really want to help you, they want proof of residency. To decline their offer of "help" will put you in a bad situation. I wish they would say what they mean. sheez.

I'm gonna go blow some air into my bassoon now and then hit the sack (if they dear puddy tats will let me. lolz) But seriously, they're adorable.

oh that's the other thing, I'm staying at the Hart's home. They were super generous and even gave me their bed. Thank you Harts for housing me, keeping me company, getting me apple juice, muffins and feeding me dinner! Daryll is an amazing chef!

So it's Sunday night, everyone has superbowl fever. Except me. lol
I really don't appreciate sports that much, I'm to busy with being a musician. Needless to say, the reason that I'm not taking part in these festivities is partly for religious reasons also. As the main character (Tom Watson) from "Chariots of Fire" put it; "Sabbath's not a day for playing football." The word "Sabbath literally means "set apart" so I agree with Tom in this. Sunday is the day you have to rest from the work you do the rest of the week and especially to study God's word and have fellowship with God's covenant people. The rest of the week is for other stuff.
And since this all I can think to say on this sunday. I'm going to leave off for now. bleah.

Monday-

this semester I am taking 15.5 credits. lol
I feel like a senior. It's great! I feel like in some ways I have a chronic case of senioritis from high-school that gets inflamed periodically. Like right now, I just played in studio class and did a good job- I surprised myself! But I feel really unmotivated to practice now. In some ways I disappointed myself because I know the mental performance behind the music was not entirely collected. I have such a hard time focusing, it must be some sort of ADD. I remember closing my eyes and then opening them and not being able to find my place! I was lucky that my fingers remembered what to do, but it was only by the grace of God that the right notes came out! Then there was the nightmarish part where I inhaled so quickly that my hair flew in my mouth- without having time to move it, I had to keep going! Then when I inhaled again I got more hair in my mouth!! Moral of the story, use hairspray or tie it up! lol
ok, I need to get back to it.
but first! it's Mu Phi pledge season. haha
this means that all the pledgelings will have to do the embarrassing Mu Phi wave to me. hehehehehe
I think I'll have to think of more embarrassing things that they'll have to do for me... hmmmm
ideas?

So I feel like the only time I ever write on this blog anymore is when I'm bored and sitting in the airport.
In the infamous words of Brett Judson; "whatevs"

So I'm here in DC airport it's 6:33am. Back home in San Diego it would be 3:33am. My flight leaves 8:16 and then I'll be back in the freezing jaws of death called Rochester. I miss my friends.

If there weren't people in Rochester it would not in any shape, way or form be a good place to live. With people it's not a good place to live but without would be so utterly pointless.
you know how some people go purchase great expanses of land in CO or CA or even in some of the more deserty states, just because it's so beautiful and they live on their own because they are totally happy there? Rochester is not one of these places. but enough about negative subjects.

I've been going crazy this break. I applied to several summer music festivals which means lots of recording (thanks dad!). I've been trying to get signed up for classes (not as easy as it sounds). I've been preoccupied with emailing profs and arranging lessons. All in all, I've been extremely busy over break and only took off 4 days (not including sundays when I don't work anyways) It wasn't very break-like, but I'm sure good things will come from all this effort.

So I found it interesting observing an old lady reading her Bible. My first reaction was "oh no, a crazy old person with senile zeal" I actually felt embarrassed. Her public, unabashed reading of scripture I found awkward. I realized that my reaction to this sort of thing was almost akin to my reaction to PDAs- not while people can see you!

But then I realized that my reaction was very culturally based and not the appropriate response of a christian. I should have seen a faithful servant of God diligently and sobermindedly trying to faithfully honor God in all of her actions. I am ashamed of myself.

The flight out to DC was long- I slept through most of it and the result is a sore neck. For some reason I'm not at all tired. I'm doing what I usually do with long layovers. Sitting, blogging, drinking a "fruit" smoothie that I pretend is healthy.

It's snowing here. I'm sure it's just the californian in me- but I hate cold. and snow. This time however, I have a serious coat to battle it, and feel like I am blending in with the eastcoasters! hahahaha
I'm sitting here hoping that the el creepo dude who tried to take me to "dinner" at my hotel will not show up. It's unlikely, but I would not be glad to see him.
It's a funny story, but last time I got confused with "departing time" and "boarding time" and the consequence was me watching people board what I thought was a previous flight (which was actually my flight). I didn't hear any announcements, and when I asked the people behind the counter when we could board they said that boarding time was over and I would have to talk to customer services. ps. if you ever get sent to customer services be prepared to be very very very patient. And when you finally make it through the long line that doesn't move be prepared to be uncharacteristically pushy. They won't listen unless you push. fun stuff.

So the story is I was walking over to customer services, depressed that I had missed my flight over such a dumb mistake and scared because I didn't know what I was going to do, when this cute airlines worker (a dude) walked past and asked me what was wrong. I told him about missing my flight and he offered his sympathies and told me to talk to him if I needed any help with anything.
I just thought he was a really nice guy and so I later did ask him for help, but only after they put me on standby for a late late flight which I couldn't board. They gave a brochure with hotel info and I went and tried to figure it out. Never having booked a hotel before or using the phone service they gave me I just sat there stewing. I'm not stupid, but understanding, esp. taking the time to read even simple things like signs goes directly against my personality. I like to fix the dvd player without reading the instructions thank you. :p
So I'm sitting there and the same cute dude walks up and asks if he can help me. I said yes I was trying to figure out this elaborate system they had and he took my phone and started talking to the operator I had reached, started telling her stuff like "no don't send a van" "can I get the address?" I told him promptly that he was not driving me anywhere and to give the phone back. He called me "mean" and I told him "I'm not getting into a car with you"
but he wants to have dinner with me so I said fine, go in a separate car and I'll have dinner with you and his face dropped. I thought something fishy was up so I called my bible study boys in rochacha and they informed me that "dinner is not actually dinner..."
so long story short, I don't want to run into this guy.

I still have over an hour before my flight, and people are starting to show up in the airport. I'm hearing overhead stories of 15 cold related deaths this winter. Why did I leave SD???

Jubin is going to pick me up from the airport when I get there, and I can't wait to see him. He's an awesome dude.

I'm starting to suspect that my ADD is aggravated by staying awake when I would otherwise be sleeping. I make it a general rule to not say things that I think past 1am since it tends to get me in trouble, and I usually don't blog exactly what I'm thinking as it comes, but this will be an experiment. I can always delete it later if I found I regret saying something later right? wrong. damage will be done. but I am so curious...

so I was watching that show about the 4 nerdy guys who live together and the sexy chick who lives across from them named Penny- it's so funny! I find myself strangely relating to the tall, excessively anal, nerdy guy who irritates everyone with his random and often overly convoluted statements. These statements I feel are intended to impress the intellect of the general public. People are too easily impressed, all he does is recite random facts at seemingly appropriate times (the time is in actuality rarely appropriate). Heck I do that all the time, and it is just as annoying and inappropriate. Though, I don't think I'm quite as anal or socially retarded. and no one thinks I'm a genius...

So what gets me is when they come over and say I'm going to tag your bassoon in case it doesn't fit on the plane. I inform them that there is no way this bassoon will be removed from my person and they always respond "just in case" and tag it anyway. They're wasting tags to put it simply. What about "this instrument is worth more than I am and will not be removed from my person" do they not understand? It's very simple. Maybe they don't take me seriously. I have no idea why. It's not like they know me or anything...

only 45 minutes till we gooo

people are running around with fresh food in their hands and it smells amazing. It is still wayyy to early for breakfast though.

ok. I'm done. before I get tendonitis or any such rubbish.

ciao.

So it's been forever since I wrote anything.

This first half of the semester has been really really interesting.

I have discovered that when you are not drowning up to your ears in credits, you suddenly have time for people and extra curricular activities.

New life experiences which were direct results of having time for life;

got a hair cut. it used to be over 3 feet long- now it's a scanty foot and a half! and it's layered!!

went to see a movie on a Monday night. totally irresponsible. btw, it was district 9- I love peter jackson.

fell in love. the real thing, not a crush. not infatuation. not physical attraction. the kind that comes from your soul that causes both joy and pain.

learning tango and it's awesome! I have private teacher who teaches for Free! complete with partners -courtesy of my bible study boys. :D

can now make small talk seem convincing and not so small.

Won an eastman bassoon audition- for Beethoven 4. :)

got hit on by cute random airlines worker...

learning Jazz bassoon. I can improv? no way!

I'm getting really invested in my own religion. before it was just sort of a thing my family did but now I'm coming to a better understanding of it and I am now embracing it practically, in my own life for the first time. baby steps...

gave a recital. yeah, about time. it was Mozart and Weber, with a 5 minute break in between.

bought my own plane tickets, to a destination other than home!
________________


so, that basically sums it up. the freshmen bassoonists are super cool and totally fun to hang out with. I'm making a lot of reeds these days and they're good! :D

I switched from lysol to clorox in preference for the fresh orange smell clorox has. teehee

ok, more later.

So it's midterms over here, and this is my first blog post since the summer? wow.

despite the fact that I'm only signed up for 14 credits, I've been remarkably busy. :/ Admittedly it's a different kind of busy, but that means I've been practicing and not studying theory. W00t. I cannot describe how much I hate music theory.

Valentin Martchev on Facebook

Hey Yo!

So I created a Fan Page on Facebook for Valentin- here it is. If you have Facebook you should become a fan. If you don't have Facebook you should join the 21st century already!!!

Peace!

So I just gained a much better appreciation for what my dad does all day. A friend of mine asked me a detailed religious question- actually he forwarded a link and said in essence "deal with this link, it says stuff that confuses me"so I responded to some of the ideas in the post-which turned out to be a 7 hour project. blahhhhh

My dad is amazing for doing this stuff, esp. since he's a pro and isn't being paid for it.

moving on;

So I ordered some bocals from midwest musical imports they arrived today I had a lesson and now I have a new bocal! It went so fast, i love it!

rewind and slow down;

sooo, I go to order bocals on thursday of last week and get expedited shipping ($30) so that they will arrive in time for my tuesday lesson. Well the shipping gets screwed up. Thanks UPS.

So it arrives today mid afternoon. I then run down to San Diego to see what Valentin thinks of them (i was rooting for the vcd #1 silver heckel)

Valentin eventually decided that he also liked my bocal- so much so that he wants to order them now! It must be the magical Z alloy that makes the bocals harder.

And that's it. I have a new bocal. AND IT'S FANTASTIC!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ohhh. I look at my other bocal and I wonder how I did it.

This is probably way too soon to start talking about spending money again, but the next thing I have my hopes and dreams set on is a tuner that will clip onto my instrument. That would be cool, but even more importantly would be a tip profiler. That would be it.

I doubt it will happen anytime soon, but one can dream. :D

This summer has been amazing- I have made such leaps and jumps with the bassoon. They're not even going to recognize me at Eastman!

I'm looking forward to this next semester. My plan is to focus on bassoon and not so much academics, and with theory out of the way for a semester, I'll be able to do as much.

I'm so happy because now I have the tools that I need, I'm able to know what I need, get what i need, use what i need... it sounds so simple but it can be so much more complicated.

:D

I'm experimenting with different kinds of cane and different kinds of reeds also. It's awesome. My comprehension of music is much more mature and I am ridiculously happy with the direction I am now headed in.

So these past two weeks were full of International Youth Symphony stuff.

We played Beethoven 7, Tchaikovsky Violin Concerto, Gabriel Faure's Pavane, and Mozart's Overture Cossi fan Tutti. It was a good concert.

During intermission I went to the edge of the stage and met some old friends and made some new ones. A little kid asked me to play something for him- so I busted out the theme from Glenn Miller's "In the Mood"

It seems like just yesterday that I was that kid going up to the edge of the stage and asking the performers to play something for me.

But it was 4 stinking hour rehearsals at 8:45 every morning for two weeks. We had a lot of repertoire, but not enough for the gross amount of time we had to rehearse. goodness gracious.

I made several friends there, and one of the things I love about these international events is all the language stuff you can pick up. Being in America isolates most of us from experiencing any other cultures or languages and so being surrounded by these things is one of the most amazing experiences ever. And you pick things up. WooT!!! I learned some some spanish from principal clarinet (Ester) , second bassoon (Marcella), and second clarinet (Solenesky) who were all fluent. Some dutch that I can't remember from dear Kimberley (flute), turkish from Beyhan (violin), and made an ass of myself trying to speak German with one of our viola players, Paula. :D She was really nice about it though, and it got better!

well, it was fun. I'll put fun pictures up when my peeps post them on facebook.

Until then, ciao!

this is me and Ester, from Venezuela. She's an awesome person and clarinetist. <3

away from school

So I'm on summer break and it's great. I'm back home now and have one student.

I am taking a lesson with Benjamin Kamins this Monday- it should be interesting.

For this past month while Valentin was in Bulgaria, I've been studying with Ryan Simmons, Curtis graduate and the Second Bassoonist of the San Diego Symphony. He's a really great teacher. He had me working on the Bach Suites. We didn't make it past the first one before he stopped me at Minnuetto II and asked me to play it more sadly. I tried to concentrate the way he was telling me and focus all of my sadness into the instrument... but alas I had no idea what to do- esp. on the spot and burst out laughing. 

yes there I was trying to play this beautiful sad song and all I could do was cackle. It was appalling. 

On the flip side, I have been fortunate enough to have experienced very little sadness in my life, and what little I have experienced did not want to come out as music... more like sniffling sobbing. Not something you pay to hear (unless you're very sick...)

So Ryan set me on slow 'sad' etudes. Back breakingly slow. 

The etude I'm working on for Ben Kamins is #20 Milde Concert Studies. It starts off slow, but it's enough of a technical etude to tax me in that direction too.

Just when I thought I had gotten everything to work just fine for this etude, Valentin comes back from Bulgaria and I go to the lesson. He makes me think about this etude very differently and I suddenly couldn't play it. It was totally weird. He gave me some musical pointers, and made sense of the etude's structure.. ideas which I might be able to back with my Eastman theory... but am not going to.

So my goal is to come back with this etude and be able to play it cold. Under any circumstances. Even if it turns out that the cat has rabies and is chewing my toes off.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tUGIDZfCNX4&NR=1

I am positively addicted to Phillipe Jaroussky- he has the most amazing voice.

--ahh back tracking-- 

ok this is random but I bring it up because of my previous comment about the cat having rabies (and it's late...)

My sister saw this little ditty online posted on facebook by a friend and we both love it sooo much! It comes from our cold heartless british background. haha

Hushabye baby,

hush quite a lot,

bad babies get rabies

and have to be shot.

:D 

Anyone who shares in my distaste for noisy children will appreciate this bit of frigid nonsensicality. 

So the parents were in Switzerland for the last week and have returned. It's nice they're here, but I wish they would stop being sooo... how do 

we say... parenty? 

They're here to offer guidance over every single little thing that you've done a thousand times without them knowing, but since they're there they might as well interject some helpful advice just in case you could figure it out for yourself.

yes sarcasm is the refuge of losers... and I'm happy to be hiding there. Because when I do something stupid and immature it's usually delibe

rate and there's no use in hiding it. Making it painfully obvious... it adds flavor.

Lesson tomorrow. Yay. Valio is going tell me what I'm doing wrong with my reeds and help me not to be so "sloppy" I hope. Though that reference was to their basic construction last time.. so hopefully these blanks won't be so bad. ahhh :/

I'm going to put a new poll on the bottom of this blog... this one shall read;

Is it lame to keep a blog you started in highschool through college, and beyond?

Yes/No

 

 

Don't forget to check the bottom of this blog to poll Your answer!!!

ok. now it's really late. 

A quick shout out to Andre, Tabs, Daniel, Lynnann, Carl, Seth Man, Hillary, Brettt, and Lukeyloo. I miss you.

(ps. Congrats to Hills on the competition :D)

I like this photo emmy took at mission bay... I look super emo but it's also kinda artsy. :D

summer break

Well I'm back for the summer, and loving being home. The lack of stress here is very refreshing.

I'm hoping I can start teaching again, and spend this time really focusing on playing my instrument. 

Goals for summer;

practice

get job

study german

study piano

eat right

figure out reeds

get fit (a six-pack would be nice too)

We'll see how much I get done. Every new experience is a chance to learn and grow. Hopefully that's what this summer will be.

time to practice! :D

jury week

Eastman

Wind

Orchestra

pre-rehearsal goofiness. ;)

so, it's this was jury week.. which means No Classes!!!!! YEAH!!!!!!

This week was fantastic. I feel so much better having been active and interested in life again. lol but seriously, I think the strain of all the work we have

to do was slowly eating me. So much so that I feel like a different person now. I'm visibly healthier, mentally happier, and the weather is fantastic. I've been using that word a lot recently, fantastic that is, because everything has just been fantastic. FANTASTIC!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

And it's all because of the way we kicked off jury week, (we being my small bible study and I) which was to go watch movies at Luke's Apt. till all hours, and then dance to loud stereo music. haha The neighbors probably hate us!

So we did that again the next night, minus the dancing but we stayed up talking till all hours.

The next day I went over to Luke's apt. whilst he cleaned and vacuumed and I half-heartedly did german homework.... always german homework. He mentioned that he was subletting the apartment for the summer and I made a poster for him with the pages program on my mac. That was exciting.

That evening, Tabitha, Seth, Luke and myself went to an awesome Mediterranean restaurant called Sinbad's. It was good. yum yum. Then we got a movie from Block Buster and watched that in Luke's Apt.

The next morning I was actually more productive than the rest of my week combined (except today) because I organized my week, cleaned my desk (mostly), fixed my printer, printed luke's apt. advertisement, made copies of it and posted them in the dorms and school, finished the german homework that I half-heartedly done the previous day, showered, napped (because 7:30 is just too darned early and 2:30 am is way too late) had an aural skills coaching, and ran to the beach with Tabs (Tabitha), Luke and Lynnann. We ate Chinese food, took lots of silly pictures, declared vehemently how cold the water was on such a warm day! (82 deezgreez) I hit the swings with luke while the girls chatted (they're so grown up...) then we hit the pier, which is where the real excitement happened.

So we're walking down the pier which is about a half mile long and on the way we meet this fisherman who had some serious attitude. The reason we met him is because we saw a fish on the pier that we assumed had jumped up by mistake and couldn't get back into the water. We were wrong. The fisherman yelled at us to leave it alone and just let it die because it was not an indigenous species to the area. It was some type of goby from the Mediterranean, and it's because of some Russian ship that accidently picked up these fish in some part of it's hold that these fish even exist in Lake Ontario. They're breeding faster than rabbits and eating all the microbey thingys in the water (not sure if it's plankton or algae), which is causing the rest of the fish to die off.

So I confront the fisherman and ask him if we can put the poor dying fish out of it's misery instead of just letting it drown in the air, since he wouldn't let us throw it back in. He asked why I cared and I told him it had to do with my philosophy behind being a vegetarian (and bizarrely humane...) and that it bothered me to see it just dying like that. Instead of doing something about the fish he avoids it and asks if I smoked. I told him no and he then informed me that they make a part of cigarettes out of animal fat. I asked him again whether or not he could do something about the fish... well no he'd rather just try to make a hypocrite of me instead of doing something about the situation at hand. Oh people.

So we're still on the pier, we walk to the end of it and it starts to rain. So we head back. In passing the crazy fisherman we hear him yelling violently at everyone to "GET DOWN!!! THERE'S A STORM COMING!!! THERE'S LIGHTING AND IT'S GOING TO STRIKE!!! GET DOWN IF YOU DON'T WANT TO DIE!!!!!" And that is when I noticed peoples' hairs standing strait up in the air (or maybe luke noticed first- our stories differ on that point)... my hair is about 3 feet long and there were strands standing strait up, just because of all the electricity in the air... wow. So we're laying on the ground, just chillin waiting for the fisherman to stop yelling and to give us the all clear. The guy himself was scarier than the prospect of being struck by lightning... yeah...

AND then it rains. Not little cute droplets like in CA, but really rains. Huge massive droplets which were surprisingly warm. That's when we all made that half mile dash for the shoreline. Obviously we survived, but the fun thing was the fact that our hairs were still sticking up even though it was raining! lol

Then we had dinner at Lynnann's watched The Soloist in theaters and went to bed.

Today I got up called my parents, did some other things I don't remember doing, and hit the practice rooms. I was there for many many hours, not practicing (tho that did happen) but practicing aural skill material for the upcoming final. Aggghhh!!! So that evening I make plans to take Tab's car with Luke to Wegmans and get a money order for the insurance policy on my broken blender (the same one from Thanksgiving- procrastination is my middle name..) but that snowballed into dinner at a couple's apartment with some other friends from church and then a game of some sort. Wegmans had actually closed their money order section of the store six minutes before I got there so I ended up not getting that done. Came back and studied aural skillz, contemplated my crazy crazy week and then admired the wet though perfumed air of the outdoors as I also admired the source of the perfume, which was a great tree covered with thousands of beautiful white blossoms. The weather is absolutely awesome and peachy right now. I don't want it to ever end. I want to be perpetually stuck in my 19th year with Luke and Tabs and Lynnann and Seth and Hillary with this wonderful weather and the flowers, studying music and having the most ridiculous amounts of fun during our free time.

Tomorrow is church. Reality check. lol

This was an awesome break. Now time to rock the 5 formidable tests I have this week. Esp. the aural finals. But hopefully also the piano ones and the german one.

I'm not taking german next year. It is really really Really time consuming and I already have 23 hours of french I've taken extra curricularly at Palomar College. Those credits better transfer. lol But this year of german has been really good for me. Now I can actually understand most of what my Austrian friend Lorenz (from SDYS Musicamp) writes to me on skype. :)

Ok, I just got texted by Luke to go to bed.. I don't know how he knew I was still up. lol

I must obey- I'll be back after hell week has come and gone. :)

peace out.

this is Tabs, me and Lynnann from left to right- Luke is taking the pic

So it's Saturday night and I should go to bed, but I delved into the Nutella- since I don't have any actual food in my room. Eating chocolate before bed is a bad idea. I'm wide awake, and exhausted. My parents are probably groaning as they read this. Let's not talk about that... lol

So finals are coming up. Again. More importantly however is jury week. This Tuesday I will have to perform for a group of judges who will decide weather or not I have a future at this school. 

I'll be fine if I don't freak out the way I did at studio class today. That was scary... 

That incident was a combination of pent up everything, stress, fatigue, poor diet, poorer exercising, in-practice, the reed (which was awesome just a few days ago), lack of electrolytes and this wicked adrenaline rush that left me shaking beyond control. It was so intense.

But after I calmed down again it was better. I need to play for more people.

So, I spent about 12 hours on this thing here at Eastman we call a Listening Module.

You listen so some pieces and write in prose a series of theoretical observations and then elaborate on them and how they affect the piece as a whole. You also try to give your ideas on the what music means and how it effected you.  (yes affect and effect- am I using them correctly?) So I spend every available free minute on this listening module, and complete it the day before it's due. Wow how diligent am I? It only made me sacrifice much valuable practice time, added much undue stress, and prevented me from thinking about anything else. Well at least it was done on time right? Wrong. The day it's due we all hear from the head honcho of the theory dept. that there has been an extension on the due date of this listening module because it is unreasonable to ask for this assignment right before juries. Un huh. Too bad I already spent my jury practicing time on this bleeping module. 12 hours? What could you do with that time? Yet another example of the smooth function of the great cogs running this well oiled clock that we benefit from. No no, I'm not complaining. How could I possibly hold faculty up to the demands that they place on us, the underling students? 

German is tough, but you know what's tougher? MUSIC THEORY!!! oh wait.. I meant to say English... lol... whoops....

I feel really bad for those who didn't grow up with English as a native language, because it is a series of broken rules, exceptions, irregular verbs and run-on clauses. (oh wait, that's my blog... lolz)

I heard our native german teacher say an english phrase in which she made what should have been an adjective, an adverb. And why not? It was seemingly modifying the verb... except it wasn't really. It was the weirdest thing, because when you try to figure out why it's wrong, it's hard to explain. 

It appears to be modifying the verb. So if I said; "That sweater goes nicely with those pants." That would be a grammatically correct statement. However, if I said "That sweater looks nicely with those pants." That would be wrong... how 

do you explain to someone on the spot why that was wrong?  :D

It boils down to how the verb functions in the sentence. 

I think we can say without a shadow of a doubt that "goes nicely" is correct. The adverb modifies the verb (in this case) and the knee joint connects to the hip joint and so on.

However, does the adverb "nicely" really want to modify the verb "looks?" 

Well let's see, if your sweater had eyes and was in the habit of looking at things, it would be ok to say that it "looks nicely " however if you want to say that the sweater itself is nice in appearance, then you would say "That sweater looks nice with those pants." 

The word "looks" is not what you are trying to modify, you are in fact trying to modify "sweater." This is why you need an adjective (which modifies nouns or pronouns) instead an adverb (which modifies verbs, adjectives or other adverbs)

These two sentences "goes nicely" and "looks nice" both mean (virtually) the same thing. 

Grammar grammar... tisk tisk

You'd think I'd have more to say about the bassoon at this point... 

I hate reeds.

Beyond that, just pray that I totally trash (in an awesome way) my jury and kick butt on these finals. 

The Nutella is slowly wearing off and there are an increasing amount of typos in my writing...

Church is tomorrow and every new day brings a new adventure. 

Getting up and being on time are adventure enough for me. One day I'll figure out how to do it. :p 

Can't wait to see CA again and my fabulously family. 

yes. just to bug you.

This is my Quintet at Eastman which never actually got a name, thought I pushed for Quordal 5th, it never stuck. This is our end of the year concert, we played the Nielson Quintet- huge bassoon solo. :D

ok, the weather here is absolutely out of control here! We go from strong (and I mean very strong) winds to cool, sunny, calm weather almost over night. Yesterday it was sunny and windy, today it is really really windy overcast and raining. Tomorrow it will snow. Oh yes. The the blizzard conditions will return.Life is so crazy here. I am getting what is known as the Eastman plague. It's an actual bacteria/virus that makes people really sick here, but not enough to keep them from infecting those who don't have it. (STAY HOME YOU SICK PEOPLE AND STOP BREATHING ON ME!!!!!)

Now it's audition season, and all the little auditionees are here... it was cute at first but now it bugs me. (ps. I'm in a very foul mood right now) 

I just got out of the most harrowing german exam ever. EVER.

But back to auditionees, it's sort of a joke amongst those of us who have actually made it to the other side of the audition process, and we like to freak out the visitors. hehehehe }:D

There was one story of an upperclassmen who was literally pointing to certain auditionees and saying very loudly "NOPE.... well MAYBE"  "Definitely NO" "YES, YES OH OH YES!!!" 

lolz I love it.

I just got out of a really depressing orchestra rehearsal, and as I was walking back to the dorms there were a group of auditionees standing in a circle around some tour guide asking questions. Just as I was just shuffling past them in my moody glory, some girl asked "What's the food like here?" 

I couldn't help myself- I laughed very loudly and sardonically. I was greeted by the sound of uncomfortable silence behind me as people processed the connection between the laugh and the question. 

It was pure gold.

quick disclaimer; the food can be really good here. it really depends on who's cooking (and when it's time to renew a contract... yes again being a rain cloud)

Good news is that now I can go to my bible study since classes are over for the week, I'll make dinner with Ms. Judd and it will be awesome. The next day I'll have another very depressing rehearsal, go to the pastors bday party, and then the Winter Dance. In fact I need to go get the appropriate clothes from my very awesome Bible Study friend Tabitha, so gotta run.  

love and peace (which admittedly have no part in this particular post)

Here at Pastor's house we're having Bible study. Present is the good Darcy, Seth, Mary queen of food on face, Tabs and my knees under the grey blanket. It is Cold at pastor's house!

Well it's been a fabulous Christmas break- I missed my friends at Eastman terribly but I'm going to be missing San Diego even more when I get there.

I'm waiting for my flight in the SD airport (got about a half hour)

Just so you know, the weather is incredible. It just took a turn for the better. It is completely sunny and the Santa Anna winds (local term for desert breezes) are making it warm, dry but totally comfortable. The sun is just awesome. haha

I am not looking forward to leaving. I would like to spend my whole life in this place. 

Over break I got to go to the beach twice, Coronado island and Carlsbad right off the Pacific Coast Highway. I actually tanned and feel so much healthier than when I was scraping by in Rochester on 6 or fewer hours of sleep.

ok, well peeps are boarding...

I'm home! YaY!!!

You have no idea how good you have it until you leave.

On the other hand- I'm going crazy here. 

I attempted the impossible today- aka cleaning the house. I didn't even vacuum the floor I just did the heavy lifting stuff. Lysol will have to wait till later today- if I can find any here. haha

But it's the messes that you don't notice until you leave that I'm talking about. Now I'm back and I notice. That added onto the fact that I have become the most incredible neat freak. Everything in my dorm is kept clean. Or will be cleaned as soon as I get the chance to clean it. I have a lysol canister the size of a bread box sitting on the shelf that I offer morning and evening sacrifices to...

So I'll be making recordings and getting a drivers license with photo ID instead of the piece of paper with scrawl on it. Yes, loosing a wallet (or having it stolen) is not cool. 

The recordings are for summer festivals. It will be fun. I have the tools to do them all by myself now- which is so exciting. I also have time to practice! It's a miracle. 

Having time to myself means that I can teach myself how to sing parts, sleep, learn about Organ stuff, see people I never see anymore, and eat rea

l food. Yum!

SD is amazing. Can't wait for the rain to stop so we can go dooooo things!

Mom and I put up the Xmas lights! :D

Sooo, I'm in the airport. On hold for the 44th minute. Trying to track my baggage. 

The airport has been really trying today. I started this day at 11:30pm eastern time and should (if all goes well from here) at 9pm something pacific time.  And I'm doing this amazing 25 hour day on 4 hours sleep. Yes I am amazing.

First, on the flight from Rochester, NY they put too much fuel in the jet- so that it was too heavy and 9 people had to exit the plane. =Delay

Then the flight to Detroit the pilot was late. No biggie, they found a new crew. But a new problem arises- something again with the weight of the plane and people who didn't board the plane right away had to find a different flight. Tant pis pour ils. Except I was one of ils. lol

Ok so now I go to Pheonix. But that somehow gets delayed for 2 hours as we wait forever to board and then drive in circles for an hour. Long story short, I miss my connection to San Diego. 

So here I am waiting for my 9pm flight in Arizona and they decide that I look like I should be searched. You know those bassoonists with their suspicious back backs that make menacing ticking noises as their uber sensitive dr. beat buttons get pushed.

ok, so now I'm sitting here waiting for my flight and trying to trace my baggage. 58 minutes on the phone has revealed that i must fill a baggage claim to find my bag which I must do pronto. So that is my day of not-heavenliness. lol

ok- time to fill a claim.

college

this place is crazy.

I feel like I've been dumped into a blender with everyone else for some sort of experimental blended drink.

People are strange here too. I usually don't have a problem with other people- it's they that have a problem with me. So either it means I'm weird or they are. -I'm going to err on the safe side and say they are... ;P lol

There's been no blogging for a long time because life is so busy here. Have I complained about my 21 credits yet? hehe 

I've never gotten so little sleep in my life. My joints sound like cement mixers and still the homework does not always get completed! I'm supposed to be resting before my concert tonight, but instead I'm blogging. Bad life decision #1.

Not getting enough sleep really impairs your concentration as well. I have a hard time remembering things, but that might have less to do with lack of sleep than I would like to admit. 

We have to enroll for classes this week, and I'

m debating Organ and/or French.

I've already taken so much French, this would be to keep from losing it. However Organ would be really cool. On the other hand I cannot coordinate two hands in different clefs to save my life- let alone two hands and two feet. However- I've been told that people worse off than myself can do it, so I might just give it a try.

Anyways, I miss home and feel almost like a completely different person here.

Lastly, I just heard about Mr. J. back home- we'll be praying for you man. We love you.

gotta sleep before the concert, so peace out.

Eastman Lower Rotation Orchestra. I'm sitting Second Bassoon- between 1st and contra. :)

My first Music Theory teacher, Dr. Weller, told me once that "most of the stuff you learn at college does not happen in the class room." lol It's so true. It's like an intensive "how to grow up" experience that just costs way too much. ;) 

But yeah, the thing about work, esp. entering a professional field, is not about how perfect you are, but how hard you try and the attitude you bring to it. The truth is; however hard you try, you're going to mess up. That's the most important thing to keep in mind. How much you mess up however should change as you continue to work in your field. And as you keep in mind that you will always mess up, that should motiva

te you to practice so as to minimize your number and severity of mistakes. You can never be perfect.

That's just how life is, with time constantly marching on. It's completely up to you how you deal with every new situation. All you know is that you need enough money to survive and to be happy. To have money, you must work. To have work, you must be kept employed. To be kept employed you must constantly (as an entertainer) satisfy your employer. To satisfy your employer you must give 100%.

On the other side, to be happy you must enjoy your work. To enjoy your work you must love it and have a positive attitude. Because, if you do it without caring, it won't make you happy and chances are it won't be so good. Doing a poor job is never satisfying and doesn't make you happy. If you do it because you want to do we

ll (keep your job, and be happy with your work), you will learn to love it, and in loving it you will give 100%. 

So that's why it's ok to make mistakes, because they will never disappear but as long as you give 100% those mistakes will slowly be les

s obvious. 

I know I'm not being as clear as I need to be, but I'll come back someday and edit this page so that I can be happy. ;)

This is my bible study on our camping trip over fall break. It was so much fun! -the bugs and germs.

from left to right

Seth, me, Brett, Andre, Luke, and Tabitha- all sitting on a log next to the play ground